officiate

- To perform the duties and functions of an office or a position of authority.
- To serve as an officiant.
- Sports. To serve as a referee or umpire.

A man got sick because of a-fish-he-ate.

by H.T.J March 26, 2005

homortified

From Chuck Lorre Vanity Card #130
The uncomfortable feeling straight men have when they're watching porn and are momentarily turned on by the wrong ass.

Bert was so homortified by the skin flick he was forced to use his imagination.

by H.T.J April 07, 2005

mum

a word which dickhead americans can't spell, and claim we spell wrong - despite the fact that WE invented the language, and the idiots WE sent to america couldn't spell.

British Guy: Hey mum, I'm home.
American Tit: Hey mom I'm gay!

by H.T.J March 03, 2005

sitrep

Army-speak. Short for "Situation Report". Given by a high ranking officer that claims he/she wants to either fil a situation report or wants one filed by a subserviant officer.

Office: Private, what's your sitrep?
Private: I've been shot in the privates!

by H.T.J April 07, 2005

squit

From the Native American name; pronounced squi*-tee. Means to produce a squeeky shit from one's rectal cavity that leaves one feeling satisfied yet drained...and stinky.

Policeman: Could you describe the man?
Victim: Hmm, medium eyes, blue build, patch other each eye, no nose, smells terrible and he let off a squeeky shit whilst anally violating me with a bag of mini eggs.

by H.T.J March 28, 2005