h.t.j's definitions

mum

a word which dickhead americans can't spell, and claim we spell wrong - despite the fact that WE invented the language, and the idiots WE sent to america couldn't spell.

British Guy: Hey mum, I'm home.
American Tit: Hey mom I'm gay!

by H.T.J March 3, 2005

Gamer's Hand

Caused by over-gaming. The most common cause is hand-held consoles, the most prominent now being the awkwardly designed Nintendo DS. It causes the the hand to cramp up while attempting to play videogames.

"Now to play some 'Super Mario 64 DS' ...arrgghh... my hand! ..it won't move! AAAH LOOK AT ME! ...don't look at me... Loo~ook at meeee...

by H.T.J July 5, 2005

addadictomy

Used when a transexual woman opts to have the surgery and become a fully-fledge ifemminate man-beast. Pronounced (add-a-dick-to-me, for the fools who didn't get it right away)

Guy: Sam, what's wrong?
Sam: Well, i'm just getting over a sisterectumy and they rescheduled my addadictomy for tomorrow.
Guy: aaww, what a flaccid penis.

by H.T.J April 11, 2005

doorgasm

-From Chuck Lorre Vainty Card #130
The feeling of relief and pleasure when the person you had casual sex with finally goes home.

I feigned a bittersweet smile as she walked out of the bedroom, then was rocked by a powerful doorgasm the second I heard her car start.

by H.T.J April 7, 2005

Cheese it

-to hastily depart
-from the verb "to cheese" upon something

Harry Jenkins: IT'S THE FILTH! FUCKING CHEESE IT!

by H.T.J September 30, 2004

gridlove

From Chuck Lorre Vanity Card #130
A delusional fantasy that occurs when you glance at the person in the car next to you in a traffic jam and are momentarily convinced that they are the answer to all your hopes and dreams.

Were her feelings real, or were they just gridlove? She didn't care. She just prayed that her lane would catch up to his lane.

by H.T.J April 7, 2005

sitrep

Army-speak. Short for "Situation Report". Given by a high ranking officer that claims he/she wants to either fil a situation report or wants one filed by a subserviant officer.

Office: Private, what's your sitrep?
Private: I've been shot in the privates!

by H.T.J April 7, 2005