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h.s. willsy's definitions

Sea Bumps

An alternative name for manatees, a.k.a. the speed bumps of the sea
"Ten points if you hit any sea bumps!"

"That's sick Ted."

"Yeah...I gues you're right...I've just not been the same since I got ill and turned that bunga bunga orgy into a scat fest...The horror. The horror."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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Triple Lindy

A sexual position that requires the strength of Superman and the dexterity of Spiderman (and, if you like it kinky, Batman's mask and rubber nipples).

If you're looking at it from the side it looks like the woman is flying. Except she's not flying, she's being held up from underneath by the guys hands and from her spladge by the guys penis. So the guy, standing up with his knees bent, has to hold her up without breaking his back and she has to keep her body in line with his penis without breaking hers. How they manage to do that and still thrust is amazing and probably involves fitness.
"How did they die?"

"Triple lindy spine-snapping mishap."

"Fair play."

"That's why the coffins are L-shaped."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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Quack Echo

When a person who has just recieved pay-off anal sex goes into the bathroom afterwards to freshen up, the noise that they produce as they sit down on the toilet and fart out depraviar is known as a quack echo.
"Whoa! You just hear that quack echo? Leanne must have got lucky!"

"Err, no, i'm in here," shouts Leanne from the kitchen.

"Fuck! It must have been Albert then! That sly old dog."

"Oh yeah, he loves it. And i've got a silencer anyway," explains Leanne, "so you wouldn't hear a quack echo of that magnitude from me."

"A silencer eh? I just do mine in the shower to drown out the noise."

"Classy."

"Oh yeah. Very."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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The Pregnancy Craving Shield

When pregnant women eat junk food with no positive nutritional qualities and claim that it's a craving, they're using the pregnancy craving shield.
"Could you go out and get me another two bags of chips? And a deep fried pizza slice?"

"Really?"

"I'M CRAVING IT!"

"Jesus, put the pregnancy craving shield down already. I'll get it for you. Just stop looking at me like I'm a man-sized chicken leg."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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Miami Beached

When someone who is usually terrible with the ladies gets drunk and inexplicably starts pulling hot girls, they are Miami Beached.
"Is that girl still here?"

"Yeah."

"How the fuck did you pull her?"

"Don't know."

"You in shock or something?"

"Most likely."

"Shit, you were well Miami Beached."

"Indubitably."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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Shitemare

1) To find oneself in a public toilet that is lacking a door lock, a toilet seat or a loo roll

2) Any situation in which poo becomes a visible nuisance
1) "Aww man. there's no toilet paper up in this smelly joint. What a shitemare."

"I've got paper for you buddy, in return for a little something something that is."

"Ted? Is that you?"

"It was always me Bill, it was always me."

2) The Indian Commonwealth Games
by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011
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Stravaig

Old Scottish, Northern English and Irish word.

Means to wander about aimlessly
"Yish, looking at that stravaiging bag head over there."

"How about I stravaig over there and rub my open wound on you?"

"Easy stravaiger, there's no need to get shirty, I was just making a comment on the aimlessness your existence."

"Tis true I suppose. Any chance of some money?"

"You give oral sex?"

"Certainly sir."

"Buzzing cha, buzzing."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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