h.s. willsy's definitions
Apple fanboys who know everything about the company from the first line of code on the first Macintosh's operating system to the colour of the inner walls of Steve Job's small intestine
"OMG, I cannot, CANNOT, beliiiiiieve that you still don't have an iPod yet."
"I kind of like my mp3 player dude. I can carry a spare battery around with me in case it runs out and you can't do that with an iPod right?"
"OMG, OMG! Do you know anything about lithium-ion batteries or are you just trying to be cool? Apple bashing is so cool now right? Just get a fucking iPod and an iPhone like uuuuurverybody else."
"Look, iSpod, it's not cute anymore. I'm sick of you sticking your iPhone in my face and showing me some lame app that was seemingly designed by a twelve year old retarded kid. I'm sick of you holding up your iPad in the middle of town and shouting about how cool augmented reality is whilst running about like a fairy. And I'm sick of the sound leak from your shitty, white Apple brand head phones. So. Just. FUCK! OFF!!!!"
"OMG, like whatever."
*KILLS*
"I kind of like my mp3 player dude. I can carry a spare battery around with me in case it runs out and you can't do that with an iPod right?"
"OMG, OMG! Do you know anything about lithium-ion batteries or are you just trying to be cool? Apple bashing is so cool now right? Just get a fucking iPod and an iPhone like uuuuurverybody else."
"Look, iSpod, it's not cute anymore. I'm sick of you sticking your iPhone in my face and showing me some lame app that was seemingly designed by a twelve year old retarded kid. I'm sick of you holding up your iPad in the middle of town and shouting about how cool augmented reality is whilst running about like a fairy. And I'm sick of the sound leak from your shitty, white Apple brand head phones. So. Just. FUCK! OFF!!!!"
"OMG, like whatever."
*KILLS*
by H.S. Willsy August 27, 2011

"You gonna make your dick sick?"
"...what did you just say?"
"Ha ha, dick sick. It means spunk."
"Yeah...I got that..."
"...what did you just say?"
"Ha ha, dick sick. It means spunk."
"Yeah...I got that..."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

When someone is wasted to the point that they are indiscriminately unloading their weapon on a busy street, they are Robert Downy Juniored
"The fuck's that noise?"
"It's this guy outside, he's Robert Downey Juniored!"
"It's Robert Downey Jr?" Ted asked, having misheard over the drunken gunfire. "I gotta go get his autograph!"
"No!" Billy screamed over the hail of gunfire that met his friend. "No!"
"It's this guy outside, he's Robert Downey Juniored!"
"It's Robert Downey Jr?" Ted asked, having misheard over the drunken gunfire. "I gotta go get his autograph!"
"No!" Billy screamed over the hail of gunfire that met his friend. "No!"
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

A sexual position that requires the strength of Superman and the dexterity of Spiderman (and, if you like it kinky, Batman's mask and rubber nipples).
If you're looking at it from the side it looks like the woman is flying. Except she's not flying, she's being held up from underneath by the guys hands and from her spladge by the guys penis. So the guy, standing up with his knees bent, has to hold her up without breaking his back and she has to keep her body in line with his penis without breaking hers. How they manage to do that and still thrust is amazing and probably involves fitness.
If you're looking at it from the side it looks like the woman is flying. Except she's not flying, she's being held up from underneath by the guys hands and from her spladge by the guys penis. So the guy, standing up with his knees bent, has to hold her up without breaking his back and she has to keep her body in line with his penis without breaking hers. How they manage to do that and still thrust is amazing and probably involves fitness.
"How did they die?"
"Triple lindy spine-snapping mishap."
"Fair play."
"That's why the coffins are L-shaped."
"Triple lindy spine-snapping mishap."
"Fair play."
"That's why the coffins are L-shaped."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

1) To find oneself in a public toilet that is lacking a door lock, a toilet seat or a loo roll
2) Any situation in which poo becomes a visible nuisance
2) Any situation in which poo becomes a visible nuisance
1) "Aww man. there's no toilet paper up in this smelly joint. What a shitemare."
"I've got paper for you buddy, in return for a little something something that is."
"Ted? Is that you?"
"It was always me Bill, it was always me."
2) The Indian Commonwealth Games
"I've got paper for you buddy, in return for a little something something that is."
"Ted? Is that you?"
"It was always me Bill, it was always me."
2) The Indian Commonwealth Games
by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011

"Yish, looking at that stravaiging bag head over there."
"How about I stravaig over there and rub my open wound on you?"
"Easy stravaiger, there's no need to get shirty, I was just making a comment on the aimlessness your existence."
"Tis true I suppose. Any chance of some money?"
"You give oral sex?"
"Certainly sir."
"Buzzing cha, buzzing."
"How about I stravaig over there and rub my open wound on you?"
"Easy stravaiger, there's no need to get shirty, I was just making a comment on the aimlessness your existence."
"Tis true I suppose. Any chance of some money?"
"You give oral sex?"
"Certainly sir."
"Buzzing cha, buzzing."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

When someone who is usually terrible with the ladies gets drunk and inexplicably starts pulling hot girls, they are Miami Beached.
"Is that girl still here?"
"Yeah."
"How the fuck did you pull her?"
"Don't know."
"You in shock or something?"
"Most likely."
"Shit, you were well Miami Beached."
"Indubitably."
"Yeah."
"How the fuck did you pull her?"
"Don't know."
"You in shock or something?"
"Most likely."
"Shit, you were well Miami Beached."
"Indubitably."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
