h.s. willsy's definitions
Anything that can be penetrated with a penis, including:
vaginas, ani (anuses), mouths, tightly closed armpits, squeezed together breasts, holes in the walls of public toilets, wounds, empty eye sockets, flesh lights, nostrils, ear holes, pushed together feet, warm pies, ripe fruit, bin bags, two-week old corpses, animal cages and sauce bottle with the lids removed.
It should be noted that most of these are not reccomended in any way, shape or form.
vaginas, ani (anuses), mouths, tightly closed armpits, squeezed together breasts, holes in the walls of public toilets, wounds, empty eye sockets, flesh lights, nostrils, ear holes, pushed together feet, warm pies, ripe fruit, bin bags, two-week old corpses, animal cages and sauce bottle with the lids removed.
It should be noted that most of these are not reccomended in any way, shape or form.
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

As the ship finally sank, and the the sharks began to circle as the last of the rescue boats departed, Tony turned to Emma, Lauren and Christine and asked:
"Bunga bunga orgy?"
"Bunga bunga orgy?"
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

When someone who is usually terrible with the ladies gets drunk and inexplicably starts pulling hot girls, they are Miami Beached.
"Is that girl still here?"
"Yeah."
"How the fuck did you pull her?"
"Don't know."
"You in shock or something?"
"Most likely."
"Shit, you were well Miami Beached."
"Indubitably."
"Yeah."
"How the fuck did you pull her?"
"Don't know."
"You in shock or something?"
"Most likely."
"Shit, you were well Miami Beached."
"Indubitably."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

A type of live action gambling that can be undertaken in Thailand. First of all the gambler must select three Thai hookers and take them back to his room. The gambler then asks them to reveal their genitals, one by one. Like with a one armed bandit (English word for slot machine), the way to win is to get three cherries in a row. Any less than three cherries and you're BUST
"I wish they had some one armed bandit machines out here."
"We could just play one eyed bandit?"
"Hmm, yeah. Or Thai roulette maybe?"
"Either or man, I just need to unload quickly before my balls get any heavier. I feel like I'm lugging around a couple of coconuts in a 50g peanut bag."
"We could just play one eyed bandit?"
"Hmm, yeah. Or Thai roulette maybe?"
"Either or man, I just need to unload quickly before my balls get any heavier. I feel like I'm lugging around a couple of coconuts in a 50g peanut bag."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

A sexual position that requires the strength of Superman and the dexterity of Spiderman (and, if you like it kinky, Batman's mask and rubber nipples).
If you're looking at it from the side it looks like the woman is flying. Except she's not flying, she's being held up from underneath by the guys hands and from her spladge by the guys penis. So the guy, standing up with his knees bent, has to hold her up without breaking his back and she has to keep her body in line with his penis without breaking hers. How they manage to do that and still thrust is amazing and probably involves fitness.
If you're looking at it from the side it looks like the woman is flying. Except she's not flying, she's being held up from underneath by the guys hands and from her spladge by the guys penis. So the guy, standing up with his knees bent, has to hold her up without breaking his back and she has to keep her body in line with his penis without breaking hers. How they manage to do that and still thrust is amazing and probably involves fitness.
"How did they die?"
"Triple lindy spine-snapping mishap."
"Fair play."
"That's why the coffins are L-shaped."
"Triple lindy spine-snapping mishap."
"Fair play."
"That's why the coffins are L-shaped."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

When a person who has just recieved pay-off anal sex goes into the bathroom afterwards to freshen up, the noise that they produce as they sit down on the toilet and fart out depraviar is known as a quack echo.
"Whoa! You just hear that quack echo? Leanne must have got lucky!"
"Err, no, i'm in here," shouts Leanne from the kitchen.
"Fuck! It must have been Albert then! That sly old dog."
"Oh yeah, he loves it. And i've got a silencer anyway," explains Leanne, "so you wouldn't hear a quack echo of that magnitude from me."
"A silencer eh? I just do mine in the shower to drown out the noise."
"Classy."
"Oh yeah. Very."
"Err, no, i'm in here," shouts Leanne from the kitchen.
"Fuck! It must have been Albert then! That sly old dog."
"Oh yeah, he loves it. And i've got a silencer anyway," explains Leanne, "so you wouldn't hear a quack echo of that magnitude from me."
"A silencer eh? I just do mine in the shower to drown out the noise."
"Classy."
"Oh yeah. Very."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Apple fanboys who know everything about the company from the first line of code on the first Macintosh's operating system to the colour of the inner walls of Steve Job's small intestine
"OMG, I cannot, CANNOT, beliiiiiieve that you still don't have an iPod yet."
"I kind of like my mp3 player dude. I can carry a spare battery around with me in case it runs out and you can't do that with an iPod right?"
"OMG, OMG! Do you know anything about lithium-ion batteries or are you just trying to be cool? Apple bashing is so cool now right? Just get a fucking iPod and an iPhone like uuuuurverybody else."
"Look, iSpod, it's not cute anymore. I'm sick of you sticking your iPhone in my face and showing me some lame app that was seemingly designed by a twelve year old retarded kid. I'm sick of you holding up your iPad in the middle of town and shouting about how cool augmented reality is whilst running about like a fairy. And I'm sick of the sound leak from your shitty, white Apple brand head phones. So. Just. FUCK! OFF!!!!"
"OMG, like whatever."
*KILLS*
"I kind of like my mp3 player dude. I can carry a spare battery around with me in case it runs out and you can't do that with an iPod right?"
"OMG, OMG! Do you know anything about lithium-ion batteries or are you just trying to be cool? Apple bashing is so cool now right? Just get a fucking iPod and an iPhone like uuuuurverybody else."
"Look, iSpod, it's not cute anymore. I'm sick of you sticking your iPhone in my face and showing me some lame app that was seemingly designed by a twelve year old retarded kid. I'm sick of you holding up your iPad in the middle of town and shouting about how cool augmented reality is whilst running about like a fairy. And I'm sick of the sound leak from your shitty, white Apple brand head phones. So. Just. FUCK! OFF!!!!"
"OMG, like whatever."
*KILLS*
by H.S. Willsy August 27, 2011
