h.s. willsy's definitions

Preversions

Preversions are acts commited by preverts, i.e. people who preempt the actions of perverts by doing to a pervert what a pervert would have done to them.

"So what preversions do we know of Inspector?"

"Well there's the reverse jackson, the funky trap, the shepherd's delight and the razorblade romance."

"Nasty stuff, nasty stuff."

"Yes. Beware of the prevert perverts, beware!"

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Fettlers

A Prestonian word for old men who exist as soon as the pubs are open. They're usually identifiable by their brown, slouched appearance and the musk of cheap tobacco and piss. They may surround themselves with a ring of empty pint glasses as if they were under siege from reality.

"Those fettlers are dying out."

"Yeah?"

"There’s not any less of them, dying out is just their style."

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Water Broading

Sometimes, at a gangbang porno shoot, the blindfolded gangbangee will start to think that they are drowning due to the amount of depraviar that is being fired all over them and they will start to invent and reveal military secrets.

"Er...we've got UAVs hidden under the mountain! WMDs too! We've got goats with heat seeking lasers on their heads!"

"Stop cumming on her guys, she's water broading."

"Sheeeeeeit, that girl crazy."

"Yeah, now just wipe her down and we'll break for lunch."

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

Shitemare

1) To find oneself in a public toilet that is lacking a door lock, a toilet seat or a loo roll

2) Any situation in which poo becomes a visible nuisance

1) "Aww man. there's no toilet paper up in this smelly joint. What a shitemare."

"I've got paper for you buddy, in return for a little something something that is."

"Ted? Is that you?"

"It was always me Bill, it was always me."

2) The Indian Commonwealth Games

by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011

Stravaig

Old Scottish, Northern English and Irish word.

Means to wander about aimlessly

"Yish, looking at that stravaiging bag head over there."

"How about I stravaig over there and rub my open wound on you?"

"Easy stravaiger, there's no need to get shirty, I was just making a comment on the aimlessness your existence."

"Tis true I suppose. Any chance of some money?"

"You give oral sex?"

"Certainly sir."

"Buzzing cha, buzzing."

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

Whoa

The collective noun of hippies, as in- a whoa of hippies

"Which whoa were you in, the one with the drum circle or the one that Timothy Leary was hanging around?"

"Err...it was the one with the dragon that kept vomiting itself inside out... I think."

"Okay so the second one then. Now lets just go over there and get your goddamn shoes back so we can leave."

by H.S. Willsy August 18, 2011

Trick of the Thai

Mistaking a male Thai prostitute for a female one can be called a 'trick of the thai' due to how ladylike many of them look. It's usually an excuse made by men who were out shopping for some ladyboy action, got caught getting it and then didn't want to admit to it after. Because why would they not just check up front if they didn't want it? It's not like we don't know that they're out there. Lurking.

"Whoa, hey Stan, this girls got balls!"

"Wha...err...oh, no way. Total trick of the thai man, I well thought it was a girl. Honest."

"Hmm."

"Yeah...can I have five minutes to finish off?"

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011