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h.s. willsy's definitions

Fettlers

A Prestonian word for old men who exist as soon as the pubs are open. They're usually identifiable by their brown, slouched appearance and the musk of cheap tobacco and piss. They may surround themselves with a ring of empty pint glasses as if they were under siege from reality.
"Those fettlers are dying out."

"Yeah?"

"There’s not any less of them, dying out is just their style."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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Quack Echo

When a person who has just recieved pay-off anal sex goes into the bathroom afterwards to freshen up, the noise that they produce as they sit down on the toilet and fart out depraviar is known as a quack echo.
"Whoa! You just hear that quack echo? Leanne must have got lucky!"

"Err, no, i'm in here," shouts Leanne from the kitchen.

"Fuck! It must have been Albert then! That sly old dog."

"Oh yeah, he loves it. And i've got a silencer anyway," explains Leanne, "so you wouldn't hear a quack echo of that magnitude from me."

"A silencer eh? I just do mine in the shower to drown out the noise."

"Classy."

"Oh yeah. Very."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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iSpod

Apple fanboys who know everything about the company from the first line of code on the first Macintosh's operating system to the colour of the inner walls of Steve Job's small intestine
"OMG, I cannot, CANNOT, beliiiiiieve that you still don't have an iPod yet."

"I kind of like my mp3 player dude. I can carry a spare battery around with me in case it runs out and you can't do that with an iPod right?"

"OMG, OMG! Do you know anything about lithium-ion batteries or are you just trying to be cool? Apple bashing is so cool now right? Just get a fucking iPod and an iPhone like uuuuurverybody else."

"Look, iSpod, it's not cute anymore. I'm sick of you sticking your iPhone in my face and showing me some lame app that was seemingly designed by a twelve year old retarded kid. I'm sick of you holding up your iPad in the middle of town and shouting about how cool augmented reality is whilst running about like a fairy. And I'm sick of the sound leak from your shitty, white Apple brand head phones. So. Just. FUCK! OFF!!!!"

"OMG, like whatever."

*KILLS*
by H.S. Willsy August 27, 2011
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Triple Lindy

A sexual position that requires the strength of Superman and the dexterity of Spiderman (and, if you like it kinky, Batman's mask and rubber nipples).

If you're looking at it from the side it looks like the woman is flying. Except she's not flying, she's being held up from underneath by the guys hands and from her spladge by the guys penis. So the guy, standing up with his knees bent, has to hold her up without breaking his back and she has to keep her body in line with his penis without breaking hers. How they manage to do that and still thrust is amazing and probably involves fitness.
"How did they die?"

"Triple lindy spine-snapping mishap."

"Fair play."

"That's why the coffins are L-shaped."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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Sea Bumps

An alternative name for manatees, a.k.a. the speed bumps of the sea
"Ten points if you hit any sea bumps!"

"That's sick Ted."

"Yeah...I gues you're right...I've just not been the same since I got ill and turned that bunga bunga orgy into a scat fest...The horror. The horror."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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Radio Foured

When someone is completely sober and doing something dull whilst all their friend are out partying, they are radio foured.
"Where were you last night?"

"Radio foured."

"Doing what?"

"I had to go to my girlfriend's grandma's ninety fifth birthday party. What did you get up to?"

"We were snorting comedown-free drugs off naked porn stars for a bit and then we got kebabs."

*SIGHS*
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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Dim Toning

Setting your favourite song as your ring tone and then, after months of hearing it over and over again through your phone's bass-hating speakers, growing to hate it through too much repetition
"Isn't this your favourite song?"

"No, I can't stand it anymore. I set it as my ring tone and after four months of hearing just the chorus I cracked."

"Gutted. That's some pretty dim toning on your part."

"Yeah."

"What have you got as your ring tone now?"

"Why are we talking about ring tones?"

"We must just be losers."

"Bastard."
by H.S. Willsy August 27, 2011
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