9 definitions by funk potato
The Best Offence was developed in the army in 2006 when a skinny half-asian private saw a colonel and said "If he tries to come over here I'm going to throw my Kevlar at him and knock him down and shit in his mouth." The Best Offense has the twofold effect of both rendering the target prone as well as infecting him with a clinical condition called Shitmouth, which can lead to the gum disease gingivitis as well as assbreath. The best offense does not require you to use a Kevlar helmet to knock the target prone, but traditionalists of the practice still use one.
Coach: Why is Jackson taking off his helmet? Why is Jackson taking off his pants!? OH MY GOD!
Assisstant Coach: You told him to use The Best Offense.
Jackson: Hrrrrrrn!
Assisstant Coach: You told him to use The Best Offense.
Jackson: Hrrrrrrn!
by funk potato September 9, 2009
Saying "Full Gay" is an obligatory response for anything that goes above and beyond the realm of normal gayness. The love between two men is pretty damn excruciatingly gay, but the love between a man and a woman is Full Gay.
Bro: You know in Mexico it's not gay if you're pitching.
Me: Ga-
Bro: But I'd rather catch anyway.
Me: FULL GAY!
Me: Ga-
Bro: But I'd rather catch anyway.
Me: FULL GAY!
by funk potato September 11, 2009
The craziest post-apocalyptic mow-hawked aboriginal nutcase bastard ever to walk the wastelands. Makes Mr. T look like the ideal date to bring home to mother. Normally when you are an army that wears power armor and uses plasma weapons you do not fear a sun-scorched naked native with a sledge hammer—except for Sulik. Then you run. Partly to keep your face from being smashed in, partly because you’re afraid he’ll rape you in front of your comrades, partly to look for your children. Point is, you run.
Sulik: We an I iz goin ta dem house and bash dem chillinz in da face wit my hamma.
Chosen One: Um, we're in the middle of having to kill the whole town because I tried to steal a magazine. You can't just leave!
Fallout 2: Sulik does jet. Sulik does jet. Sulik does jet. Sulik doesn't have enough action points.
Chosen One: Um, we're in the middle of having to kill the whole town because I tried to steal a magazine. You can't just leave!
Fallout 2: Sulik does jet. Sulik does jet. Sulik does jet. Sulik doesn't have enough action points.
by funk potato October 5, 2009
The act of moonwalking out of the way of a strike to the testicles. From the French, Sack Sachez literally translates into scrotum knowledge. Anyone who knows their scrotum knows not to get kicked in it. Getting kicked in the dick is no picnic either.
by funk potato September 8, 2009
The Air Marshal is an advanced sexual technique where you combine the Rear Admiral with The Flying Camel. The objective is to pilot the recipient of your penis around the room whilst flapping your arms and wailing like a banshee. Additionally, to initiate locomotion the Air Marshal must hop rather than step. The Air Marshall is an advanced technique because it requires both the technical requirements of the Rear Admiral with the sophistication and classiness of The Flying Camel.
Bro: Why's all your shit knocked over? And why's there a hole in the wall? And where's Lisa?
Me: Air Marshal, Air Marshal, and nursing a concussion.
Bro: Holy shit you Air Marshaled her?
Me: Of course I did! Now get me a Fanta.
Bro: Yes Sir!
Me: Air Marshal, Air Marshal, and nursing a concussion.
Bro: Holy shit you Air Marshaled her?
Me: Of course I did! Now get me a Fanta.
Bro: Yes Sir!
by funk potato September 9, 2009
The base sexual technique for when you post someone on their neck and then leap/fall into their body with your penis. This maneuver was implied by Trevanian in his novel Shibumi. In the subtext of a page Trevanian informed the reader that for their own safety he could not divulge his advanced sexual techniques to prevent injury or death.
To start a hopple you have to post the receiver up on their neck and possibly elbows with the rest of their body suspended over them. You then jump or fall and land with your penis entering their body. A hopple has been successfully completed if at least one participant orgasms and at least one participant survives. They do not have to be the same person.
There are many variants of the hopple.
Hopple - Jump from a standing position and land in a posted up vagina.
Dropple - Fall from a height and land in a posted up vagina.
Hopplegore - Jump from a standing position and land in an anus.
Dropplegoral - Fall from a height and land in a hopple-positioned receiver's mouth.
You can modify the hopple with any number of prefixes and suffixes to suit your mood/skill level, from the standard hopple to the Necroppletopplegoral where you get a running start on a corpse, cross-check it into a hopple position while simultaneously somersaulting into the air and landing in its mouth.
To start a hopple you have to post the receiver up on their neck and possibly elbows with the rest of their body suspended over them. You then jump or fall and land with your penis entering their body. A hopple has been successfully completed if at least one participant orgasms and at least one participant survives. They do not have to be the same person.
There are many variants of the hopple.
Hopple - Jump from a standing position and land in a posted up vagina.
Dropple - Fall from a height and land in a posted up vagina.
Hopplegore - Jump from a standing position and land in an anus.
Dropplegoral - Fall from a height and land in a hopple-positioned receiver's mouth.
You can modify the hopple with any number of prefixes and suffixes to suit your mood/skill level, from the standard hopple to the Necroppletopplegoral where you get a running start on a corpse, cross-check it into a hopple position while simultaneously somersaulting into the air and landing in its mouth.
Bro: What happened to Linda?
Me: I tried to hopple her but she broke her neck and died.
Bro: Did you cum?
Me: No I broke my dick in half.
Bro: Fail.
Bro: Hey man can you help me hold up this corpse so I can necropplegore him?
Me: FULL GAY!
Me: I tried to hopple her but she broke her neck and died.
Bro: Did you cum?
Me: No I broke my dick in half.
Bro: Fail.
Bro: Hey man can you help me hold up this corpse so I can necropplegore him?
Me: FULL GAY!
by funk potato September 4, 2009
When you fuck someone from behind while simultaneously eating pizza off of their back. Typically pizzabacking involves pizza in a box, but fresh-hot pizza can be applied directly to a recipiant's back if they need to be taught a lesson. To simulate an acid trip, try pizzabacking while watching Hanna Barbera cartoons. If you don't have a sex partner or pizza available and you still want to simulate an acid trip, try watching Hanna Barbera cartoons.
Middle Manager with Nothing to Lose: Linda do you know the difference between a Caesar Salad and a Pizzaback?
Confused Secretary: No?
MMWNTL: Good, lets do lunch. And by lunch I mean you from behind while I eat pizza off of your back.
Confused Secretary: No?
MMWNTL: Good, lets do lunch. And by lunch I mean you from behind while I eat pizza off of your back.
by funk potato September 8, 2009