13 definitions by franklin delano roosevelt
Located in southeastern Pennsylvania, Great Valley High School is best known for the Mad Dumper: A student who believes in the beauty of the fecal matter he expunges from his sphinctor. Rubbing it all over the walls of school, this heroe has brought forth a better understanding of our true selves and reminds us of the age old question: Why does corn stick to my doo-doo?
"The Mad Dumper struck again! There is poo all over the boy's bathroom. I swear to God, I think it was Rita Jones" -Billy Ray Cyrus (GVHS class of 2002)
by franklin delano roosevelt December 15, 2004
Fat Joe is the only non-black person in the universe who isn't called a racist by saying "muh niggas". Fat Joe is the love child of Porky Pig and Jennifer Lopez. He is perhaps the ugliest human alive, yet we love him because he is obese... as long as he's at a safe distance from us and our dinner plates.
"I can't look at Fat Joe because it makes me want to yank my eyes out and rub icy hot on my crotch"
or
"Fat Joe is SOOOO cute! I'd totally fuck him, hes a teddy bear!"
or
"Fat Joe is SOOOO cute! I'd totally fuck him, hes a teddy bear!"
by franklin delano roosevelt December 21, 2004
Sessoms Nautical Gifts - Located in Sea Isle City, New Jersey. A whimsical store full of knick-knacks and mini sea-shells that look like trix brand cereal. A hot spot where geriatrics and rowdy teens can get together in peace. The aisles are overflowing with the crap they sell. Sessoms can never be destroyed because it is built with the power of love.... and really hardcore asbestos.
"Hey Megan and Greg, where should we get Joe's shotglass?"
"How 'bout SESSOMS NAUTICAL GIFTS? It's full of grand trinkets and miscellaneous potpourris!"
"Okee-Dokee!!! derp!"
"How 'bout SESSOMS NAUTICAL GIFTS? It's full of grand trinkets and miscellaneous potpourris!"
"Okee-Dokee!!! derp!"
by franklin delano roosevelt December 13, 2004
Town in southeastern Pennsylvania located about 20 miles east of Philly. The Borough of Malvern is home to 3,500 geriatrics who all go to 1 pharmacy, 1 convenience store, and 47 antique stores. The borough is about 1 square mile but all the business is located in one half, the blacks have their section and the rich have their place (though they seem to be taking over the black sections). People think they are from Malvern, but most are retards because Malvern mailing address is the size of Cuba. Also sometimes referred to as bumblefuck, PA
1. "We're rich and Catholic! Let's move to Malvern"
2. "We're black and Baptist! Let's move out of Malvern"
3. "We're old! Let's die in Malvern"
Uh, DERP!
2. "We're black and Baptist! Let's move out of Malvern"
3. "We're old! Let's die in Malvern"
Uh, DERP!
by franklin delano roosevelt December 21, 2004
1. Quite possibly the biggest retard to ever be on television. Makes his home on NBC 10 (home to Hurricane Schwartz! derp!)of the Delaware Valley. Might as well just mabate in his reports; I would be much more interested.
2. Complete Deuchebag loved by old ladies but despised by everyone else.
2. Complete Deuchebag loved by old ladies but despised by everyone else.
Terry Ruggles just did a report on hats! Jumpin' Gee Willickers, I love hats!
Terry Ruggles, You are a delight! -my mom
Terry Ruggles, You are a delight! -my mom
by franklin delano roosevelt January 22, 2005
Chef's dad: Ooh! It must've been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this
boat you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the
paleolithic era, comes out of the water
Chef's mom: We was so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat and I said "Thomas, what on
earth is that creature?!"
Chef's dad: It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes...
Chef's mom: Oh it was so scary!
Chef's dad: And I yelled, I said "What do you want from us monster?!" And the monster bent down and
said "I need about treefiddy"
silence
Kyle: What's treefiddy?
Chef's dad: Three dollars and fifty cents
Chef's mom: Treefiddy
Stan: He wanted money?
Chef's dad: That's right. I said "I ain't giving you no treefiddy you goddam Loch Ness monster! Get your
own goddam money!"
Chef's mom: I gave him a dollar
Chef's dad: She gave him a dollar
Chef's mom: I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar
Chef's dad: Well of course he's not gonna go away, Ne! You gave him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got
more
boat you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the
paleolithic era, comes out of the water
Chef's mom: We was so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat and I said "Thomas, what on
earth is that creature?!"
Chef's dad: It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes...
Chef's mom: Oh it was so scary!
Chef's dad: And I yelled, I said "What do you want from us monster?!" And the monster bent down and
said "I need about treefiddy"
silence
Kyle: What's treefiddy?
Chef's dad: Three dollars and fifty cents
Chef's mom: Treefiddy
Stan: He wanted money?
Chef's dad: That's right. I said "I ain't giving you no treefiddy you goddam Loch Ness monster! Get your
own goddam money!"
Chef's mom: I gave him a dollar
Chef's dad: She gave him a dollar
Chef's mom: I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar
Chef's dad: Well of course he's not gonna go away, Ne! You gave him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got
more
by franklin delano roosevelt December 14, 2004
1. Meteorologist on the Delaware Valley's channel 10 NBC news. He makes promotional commercials featuring his mom and he enjoys a super silly bow tie now and again... or everyday.
2. Someone who makes up innaccurate information for a living, while looking like a douche doing it.
2. Someone who makes up innaccurate information for a living, while looking like a douche doing it.
1. Hurricane Schwartz just made a cheeky joke about precipitation. Oh Hurricane!
2. Meteorologists, lawyers, and catholic priests are all considered hurricane schwartzes
2. Meteorologists, lawyers, and catholic priests are all considered hurricane schwartzes
by franklin delano roosevelt March 8, 2005