frank klaune's definitions

bladder buster

(n) Any of the ubiquitous, huge, outrageously obnoxious soft drink containers sold in convenience stores. They get larger each year and before long, some nut will weld a crash-bar to a 55 gallon drum, walk into a Kum-n-Go and expect a 59 cent refill. The bladder buster has gotten so large that no vehicle's cup holder can hold them. When you urinate after drinking one, the fire department's hazmat team is summoned and the EPA files an incident report.

Damn, Frank filled his bladder buster at the truck stop and then we had to stop every 20 minutes of the trip so he could squirt the dirt.

by Frank Klaune February 2, 2005

fuckin' suck it

Phrase used in an extremely, utterly exasperating moment when no other execration will do. The phrase is best appreciated with one's temper at full steam, red in the face and at least one hand balled up in a fist, banging on something.

Chris was driving along 53rd, minding his own business when some dumbass in a pickup swerved out of the Convenience Store, blatantly cutting him off. When Chris hit the horn, the dumbass flipped him off. When they got to the intersection, Chris was red in the face and, with one hand banging on the steering wheel, he gestured "the bird" back at the dumbass while yelling, "FUCKIN' SUCK IT!"

by Frank Klaune April 22, 2005

Bees

A joint (or spliff) or two of marijuana.

Chris has bees, and bees make you buzz. He's down at the quarry doing bees.

by Frank Klaune January 21, 2005

spray paint

The forceful, sometimes violent expulsion of liquid shit into the toilet at high velocity. The "spray paint" term relates to the viewing of the underside of the toilet seat and the general condition of the toilet bowl which is usually well sprayed with dumpage.

"Man, I had such a gut cramp, I ran to the bathroom and let go with spray paint. Damn, it's a good thing we're at Frank's house. I wouldn't want to clean that up at my house."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

ahs-wee-pay

Less commonly as of late, it is the phonetic, literal pronounciation of "asswipe" (said usually with a fake foreign accent). The term is used as a direct replacement for "asswipe" just with the foreign-sounding pronounciation for any of a number of stupid reasons.

"Hey ahs-wee-payyyy... wot's up mon?"

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

scratch the patch

Literally, for one to "scratch where it itches", in particular to scratch the genital area. Often seen as a sign of some disgusting disease or STD.

Man, Frank was picking up that chick in the bar, but when he saw her scratch the patch, he flipped her off and left. I think he figured she had VD or crabs or something.

by Frank Klaune November 13, 2004

Bop the Top and Drop the Slop

"Masturbate and ejaculate." Humorous reference to male masturbation (and it's messy aftermath).

Man, no wonder Jimmy took so long in the shithouse. He had to bop the top and drop the slop.

by Frank Klaune May 28, 2004