frank klaune's definitions

urban beautification

An oxymoron. Very simply stated.

Only a 800,000,000 megaton MIRV can bring about "urban beautification."

by Frank Klaune September 1, 2005

cut to the fuck

Frat house phrase popularized by "The Degenerates" of 4th East ("Beast") Hall. "Cut to the fuck" was the battle cry used during the pathetic interludes and lame attempts at plot development inserted between sex scenes of a porn movie.

After the first couple finished they had a scene where John was talking to his friend in a coffee shop about his relationship with Amy and if his wife would mind. That crap in porn movies is so lame. CUT TO THE FUCK!

by Frank Klaune March 20, 2004

drug monster

Another common Tomism with humorous implications, "drug monster" refers to a person whose personality is higly changeable through use of drugs. It also refers to one who uses a large quantity of drugs and implies a dependence on such drugs.

Frank took a speedball, two hits off the bong, an LSD cube and a 'lude. Man, he is one drug monster!

by Frank Klaune February 13, 2005

funnel cake

To use your dong as the \"funnel\", your baby gravy as the \"cake batter\" and some hot chick\'s stomach area (near her belly button) as the frier. If you\'ve ever watched or made a funnel cake, it is now abundantly clear.

Damn! Frank was so worried about knocking up his girlfriend he pulled out and made a funnel cake!

by Frank Klaune April 26, 2005

glued

Yet another term designating a high level of inebriation (drunkenness).

"Damn, after drinking that fifth with Grotee, Frank was really glued!"

by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004

mazupas

My favorite term for the female breasts, also known as chesticles, boobies, cans, jugs, headlights, titties and rack.

"Damn, check out the mazupas on our waitress tonight!"

by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004

Blatz splatz

This phrase, related in part to the "blat" (see "blat"), describes the logical aftermath of drinking too much Blatz beer. If one drinks far too much Blatz, the next morning's activities are dominated by the "Blatz splatz" in which bodily fluids are emitted from various orifices in a semi-involuntary spasm. This term is obviously only used in those areas of the country where "Blatz" beer is found. For additional information see "hershey squirts" and "the shits".

Man, Frank brought a few cases of Blatz to the stag party. Damn, the next day let me tell you, I had the Blatz splatz big time!

by Frank Klaune November 21, 2004