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fitofpeak's definitions

BlackBerry sushi

The article produced when one inserts one's water-soaked BlackBerry into a box of white rice, desperately trying to resuscitate it by having the rice draw out the moisture.
"Dude, sorry I didn't text you -- I've got BlackBerry sushi here thanks to my wife washing my trou without checking the pockets."
by FitofPeak September 19, 2012
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man-aging partner

A shrewish, nagging spouse who thereby takes at least two years off of one's life for each year of marriage.
"Sorry, guys, I can't make the game -- the man-aging partner has me on garage cleanout duty, eff me."
by FitofPeak August 25, 2012
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lotion chimp

A particularly low-order minion -- qualified to perfrom only the most mindless tasks, on the order of a trained chimpanzee smearing suntan lotion on its reclining master.
I had a morning meeting, so I had my lotion chimp come over and let the electrician in.
by FitofPeak May 26, 2010
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Universal donor

In the proofreading business, a document that is full of typographical errors, aka, “typos.” The expression is a play on the concept of the so-called universal blood donor: type O being the blood type that can be donated and transfused to anyone regardless of their blood type, a “universal donor” document is … full of Type Os.
Chad, take this universal donor back to your desk and fix all the !@#$% misspellings and punctuation errors, jeez.
by FitofPeak June 11, 2021
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Circumcoition

A ten-dollar word for "screwing around," i.e., wasting time -- circum (around) + coition (having sex).
"OK, folks, enough of this circumcoition -- let's get this goddam truck unloaded."
by FitofPeak April 12, 2010
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Don't leave horsepower in the showroom

A metaphorical rule to live by: don't make the mistake of choosing the cheaper option to save a buck in the short run, when you'll curse yourself later for not getting the better-grade product/service in the long run.
Eric: "What was I thinking buying that Porsche with the V-4 instead of the V-6 -- it handled like a Formula 1 car but is a total slug in a straight line!"
Tim: "Dude, you broke rule number 1 -- don't leave horsepower in the showroom."
And so --
Maddie: "This well Margarita sucks -- why didn't I get the Cadillac for two bucks more?"
Amy: "Exactly. Don't leave horsepower in the showroom, sweetie."
by FitofPeak January 2, 2015
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iDrown

An iPhone that has been accidentally immersed in water, beer, soup or other liquid, with resultant catastrophic failure.
"Sorry I didn't call, I'm rocking an iDrown after falling into Dave's pool last night."
by FitofPeak September 18, 2012
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