There are a few main kinds.
The Blessed One: This type off poo is the dream poo. You don't need to wipe and you feel the need to cheer after taking only a few minutes in the oval office.
The Bunny Poo: It's a ton of perfect little round poos! WTF!
The Mexican: It burns like the hottest of mexican spices and you need to flush multiple times or risk a clog. It takes hours to wipe the poor, withered butt, and the bathroom's smell kills the next seven people to walk inside.
The Torpido: This poo shoots in like a rocket and in return splashes a wall of water up your butt. You jump three feet in the air in shock.
The Houdini: This poo is the greatest illusionist of them all. You feel the poo, there's poo on the toilet paper, but when you go to look in the toilet, where did it go?! You look a while, then give up and flush, this mystery never seen...
The Skittle: You spend hours on the toilet, trying so hard to rid yourself of the intestinal burden, then finally it hits the water! You wipe, stand up to look at your prize then, you are disapointed to see a skittle-sized poo sitting there.
The Joker: You poo, and spend hours and hours wiping and wiping and when you finally pull up those trousers and are about to exit the bathroom--looks like you weren't done! You disapointedly sit back on the porcelain throne. Beware, there are always two joker cards in a deck.
The Blessed One: HUZZAH! 8D
The Bunny Poo: What..the...?
The Mexican: OH THE PAIN! CURSE YOU BURRITO!!
The Torpido: O_O WHOA!
The Houdini: Dum dee dum... WHUT? Where the heck...?
The Skittle: AT LAST! ....WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!
The Joker: Finally...! --Oh come ON!