1 definition by eu83

Newport

Newport is a city in south wales. It's highlights include Pill, Murder Central, Duffryn, Drug Land, Ringland, Home to teenage pregnancy, Mauland, Home to the care-home children,the shittycentre and many more. Newport has a selection of drug addicts, pregnant teenagers, benefit cheats, council estates and chavs. It is not uncommon to be approached outside newport train station by nasty infected hookers or chavs asking for cigarettes from the Pupil referral unit around the corner, full of Newport's wildest teenagers, incidentally right next to a primary school of small children. The centre hosts a fantastic greggs pasty shop and Everything-For-A-Pound Shop. Newport does not have a Poundland. If you happen to stop in newport, be sure to thoroughly cleanse yourself afterwards as there is a high risk of contracting bird flu due to the pidgins that just wont, or maybe cant, fly away from the foyer on Newports bank (Robbed 305 times since 2003) You will also find that Newport offers a complimentary mugging service to all visitors provided by the youth there. And sometimes the mothers of the youths. Because the mothers are still youths. Newport citizens enjoy weed. Most "females" in newport have no idea what their natural skin colour is due to the copious amounts of shit, or foundation smeared across their skin. Normal, good, newport citizens are rare, but can be found hiding under rocks.

Man Exiting Train Station. Something that resembles a woman approaches.

Woman-Thing: I'll fuck yer' for a pasty

Man moves on past the shop

Chav who has escaped the referral unit: OHHHHHHHH MATE. Go in't shop for us?

Newport Child: Mum pass me the spliff?
Newport Mum: Fuck off Shakira! Go mug a bitch.

by eu83 March 11, 2011