You'll never know what we put in the pasta sauce (heh heh). And we always use expired products in our pizza, and we don't wash our hands before making your food. And we are proud followers of the 3-Second Rule.
Get a free tapeworm or E-coli strain with each pizza, courtesy of Pizza Hut.
Safeway (3rd Planet in the Supermarket Solar System)
Population: 200 poorly paid employees, 20 young wannabes with nothing to but hang out at a supermarket on a Saturday night, 10 angry old people with stupid questions, 50 or so middle aged soccer mum species who consider themselves to be the most superior species on the planet, and 5 to 6 managers wandering aimlessly doing nothing.
Orbit: Around the planet is a vast asteroid like field of 4WD Class Space ships piloted by soccer mums. Extremely hostile and dangerous! Take caution!
Environment: Employees are regularly subjected to the hostile natives and are forced to endure seasonal carol music non-stop for a month.
Recommendation: Avoid AT ALL COSTS!
"I got past the Soccer Mum asteroid field only to be rammed to death by a roving granny with a walking frame!"