27 definitions by ellsworthtoohey
It's a hybrid of immobilized and bulldozer...sortae? But seriously..it maekes aelot of sense if you really dont think aebout it. It is used to compound bilaeteral aesphyxiationael circumstaences in a uniform maenner, while aellowing the morbid decomposing flesh to drip into the caeuldron of delight.
by ellsworthtoohey July 29, 2011
A living, breathing house that currently operates as a bed and breakfast-makeshift hotel type establishment constructed in the early 1920s. The house is inhabited by the dead, fueled by insanity and psychological torment, and commanded by his unholy highness, Lucifer. Witnesses report seeing blood drip down the walls of the schlossmuseum, seeing demons perched upon the rooftop, staring with fiery eyes into their soul, blood curdling screams of agony in the still of night, and on more than one occasion, guests have reported being dragged out of their bed at night, and down into the basement by an unseen entity, strapped to an antique operating table, and being tortured for several days by demonic surgeons. Despite all this, the schlossmuseum is a fine place to bring your family for an extended vacationism. Seriously, we want you to bring your children here. The house siphons the innocence out of young children, through their mouth/esophagus, and uses it for its own twisted purposes.
Bring your children to the schlossmuseum.
BRING YOUR CHILDREN TO THE SCHLOSSMUSEUM!
Please bring your children to the schlossmuseum, we'd really appreciate it if you brought your children to the schlossmuseum.
BRING YOUR CHILDREN TO THE SCHLOSSMUSEUM!
Please bring your children to the schlossmuseum, we'd really appreciate it if you brought your children to the schlossmuseum.
by ellsworthtoohey May 23, 2012
A truly remarkable feat of concentration and resonance, which has an effect of levitation a few feet above the attic, when 3 or more people join hands and produce the frequency that cannot be heard. A competent ground crew is recommended, particularly if one or more people in the group cannot be trusted to maintain absolute focus, in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds, to simply produce the specific frequency, and to conceal the position of the participants high above the attic, ideally in the lower stratosphere, if the harmonic resonance approaches the upper limits of sonic viability, without causing shockwaves.
The Hover would have worked , if Gahrsten VanVöchenstein listened to the experienced hovers, and stayed as part of the ground crew, so that Broccoli Rob would be unaware of the altitude we had achieved.
by ellsworthtoohey January 23, 2018
A general paesana of interest, regarded as one of the founding fathers of the not so democratic republic of congo.
Hails from an Spanish/Italian family and is survived by his liquid based sister kit-kat, who is one of the worlds foremost experts in aerospace engineering. His ancestry is questionable at best, and his childhood is shrouded in mystery. Some believe him to be descended from a long line of peasants. Some believe he has a life sized golden beluga whale statue on his roof gazebo, but needless to say, his garden could use improvement. One indisputible fact the CIA has been able to uncover is his inherent yiddishness, which causes him to sit in the synagogue all fucking day, staring straight ahead, and not saying a fucking word until the sun rises on the sabbath. He calls it Yom Kippur Another interesting fact is the big long hairs on top of his head, which he feeds indirectly into the running fanbelt. When the echo of a distant time comes willowing across the sand, broccoli rob is overpowered by an unrelenting force, directly. I always said he'd come to no good in the end, your honor. If they had let me have my way i would have flayed him into shape, but my hands were tied, and the bleeding hearts of artists allowed him to get away with murder, and I would be delighted to hammer him into the ground today.
Hails from an Spanish/Italian family and is survived by his liquid based sister kit-kat, who is one of the worlds foremost experts in aerospace engineering. His ancestry is questionable at best, and his childhood is shrouded in mystery. Some believe him to be descended from a long line of peasants. Some believe he has a life sized golden beluga whale statue on his roof gazebo, but needless to say, his garden could use improvement. One indisputible fact the CIA has been able to uncover is his inherent yiddishness, which causes him to sit in the synagogue all fucking day, staring straight ahead, and not saying a fucking word until the sun rises on the sabbath. He calls it Yom Kippur Another interesting fact is the big long hairs on top of his head, which he feeds indirectly into the running fanbelt. When the echo of a distant time comes willowing across the sand, broccoli rob is overpowered by an unrelenting force, directly. I always said he'd come to no good in the end, your honor. If they had let me have my way i would have flayed him into shape, but my hands were tied, and the bleeding hearts of artists allowed him to get away with murder, and I would be delighted to hammer him into the ground today.
by ellsworthtoohey August 3, 2012
Oh, this is a ripe one lads, pull up a sofa. It started wayyyyyy back in ought 5. Back in those days, when a horse hacker manages to o pine the top hatch of an amalgomous feces fence, proprietarily, the radio detective decouples the vernier anomaly from the upper frequency ratio, which is the square inverse of the prenontemporal modulation sine waveform function. Conversely, when the agreed upon interference parameters are disproportionately and semi entirely achieved manually, an appropriate interference procedure can be re generated hyperbolically, and applied to the lower quadrant via ionic particulate deposition practices. Afterward, the unit can be cleaned with a pressure mop and returned to service instantaneously, using relativistic enhancers.
The Electromagnetic Misinterference Decoagulator was used to locate, my BOYFRIEND, Osama Bin Laden (no relation).
by ellsworthtoohey July 19, 2021
Stevie Wondering has many practical applications such as:
-Marking coordinates for a mortar strike
-Signaling cargo vessels into port
-Recieving interstellar radio transmissions
-Controlled demolition of uninhabited buildings
-Performing cesarian section procedures
-Triggering lasers at Pink Floyd concerts
-Adjusting spark timing on internal combustion engines
-Tuning pianos
-Cleaning skyscraper windows
-Navigating your way through a labyrinth
-Telepathically commanding squirrels to do your dirty work
-Triggering avalanches
-Removing stains on leather upholstery
-Measuring tire pressure
-Analysing exhaust emissions
-Causing the heads of clowns to spontaneously rupture
-Instantly solving complex algebraic equations
-Causing large bridges to oscillate at a specific resonant
frequency
-Heating large vats of cooking oil quickly and painfully
-Replacing lightbulbs on radio communications towers
-Consulting with the rain?
-Prepping automobiles for paint
-Chiseling birthday cards into slates
-Constructing massive heated beaver dams for your family to live in
-Steam distilling large amounts of drinking water
-Pumping sludge from basement sinkholes
-And above all, playing one hell of a piano groove
-Marking coordinates for a mortar strike
-Signaling cargo vessels into port
-Recieving interstellar radio transmissions
-Controlled demolition of uninhabited buildings
-Performing cesarian section procedures
-Triggering lasers at Pink Floyd concerts
-Adjusting spark timing on internal combustion engines
-Tuning pianos
-Cleaning skyscraper windows
-Navigating your way through a labyrinth
-Telepathically commanding squirrels to do your dirty work
-Triggering avalanches
-Removing stains on leather upholstery
-Measuring tire pressure
-Analysing exhaust emissions
-Causing the heads of clowns to spontaneously rupture
-Instantly solving complex algebraic equations
-Causing large bridges to oscillate at a specific resonant
frequency
-Heating large vats of cooking oil quickly and painfully
-Replacing lightbulbs on radio communications towers
-Consulting with the rain?
-Prepping automobiles for paint
-Chiseling birthday cards into slates
-Constructing massive heated beaver dams for your family to live in
-Steam distilling large amounts of drinking water
-Pumping sludge from basement sinkholes
-And above all, playing one hell of a piano groove
by ellsworthtoohey August 3, 2012