Definitions by el capitano!

nonshit schnitzeled 

To be denied, or robbed, of your ultimate expectation.

Jenny, I thought our date night at binkies would serve us oktoberfest jaeger schnitzel, but instead we had a salad and all you did was kiss me. You nonshit schnitzeled me.

nonshit schnitzeled by el capitano! October 4, 2018

captain kerk 

To lean in and "whisper" a comment about someone else loud enough so that the unintended person can hear it. Most commonly occurs after consuming large amounts of Captain Morgan.

I'm totally going to do Danielle tonight. Oh hi, Danielle!

Crap, I totally just pulled a captain kerk...

captain kerk by el capitano! October 10, 2010