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2 definitions by dojo24

 
1.
An angst-ridden, unhappy child, anywhere from the age of 13-19, who's only dream that he/she hasn't given up on is to venture to the mall whenever he/she is not in school (and as long as mommy's giving him/her a ride) and collaborate with other Mall-Tards like him/herself.

80% of Mall-Tards specifically are overweight, 15 year-old scene girls, who tend to insult any unsuspecting passerby under their breath, without mercy or remorse. Beware the Mall-Tard when in groups. Very much like the nimble wolf, they have power in numbers. Groups of Mall-Tards may even muster up enough backbone to say something unkind to you within the range of decibels that the human ear can pick up!

Not unlike the wolf, the Mall-Tard is rarely seen outside of its pack- although they have been known to split from their main company into smaller platoons in order to cover more area. This can be useful when said Mall-Tards want to have their presence known in the food court, but can't sacrifice the search for the extra-small Bullet for My Valentine shirts in Hot Topic.

Mall-Tards have a never-ending hatred for all that walks on two legs- and beyond. Many theorize that this hatred is manifested from the smoldering remains of their haunted and traumatic pasts, but many experts in the field also argue that they are only pussies and ass-eaters with no knowledge of the world or its people, and have plenty of their parents money to blow.
EX:1
Dude 1: Dude, let's just go into Teavana- I can see a gaggle of Mall-Tards coming straight for us!
Dude 2: But they always try to sell you shit in there...
Dude 1: THERE'S NO FUCKING TIME LET'S GO!!!

EX:2

Mall-Tard girl: Hey!! You want my phone number sexxxy?!!
Dude: No- what are you like 10?
Mall-Tard Girl: FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FAGGOT ASS CUNTLICKING RETARDFAG I HOPE YOUR BOYFRIEND DIES!!!1!
Dude's friend: Dude you just got Mall-Tarded!

EX:3

Mall-Tard 1: I hate waiting outside of Vitamin World! I wanna die! Look at all of these fags trying to buy their faggot ass fag pills.

Man walking into Vitamin World: *Stops and stares*
(Mall-Tard 1 Immediately turns around and hides amongst his fellow Mall-Tards; Man walks away)
Mall-Tard 2: Don't worry, that guy was a fag
by dojo24 November 17, 2010
 
2.
The act of forcefully jamming your in-canal earbud(s) into your ear(s) deeper than they already are, and then pulling them out only to repeat the action in an attempt to scratch the terrible itch that all in-canal earbuds cause inside your cranium. Also known as "Ear secks"
1: I used to love how my new Klipsch Custom 3's sounded, but they itched so bad that I went deaf from all the Ear sex.

2: Dude, your buds are crusty and yellow. Have you been having Ear secks?
by dojo24 January 23, 2011