The Philippines is ruled by two main tribes...
The Gamers and the Gangsters... (the minority is composed of bugoys, parents and polititians)
those two tribes isolated each other until the great god Marcos gave them the "human female". the gangsters wanted sex slaves while the gamers wanted goddesses to be worshipped... then the great war started, the gangsters grabbed 80% of the females the god Marcos gave philippines, leaving the gamers only with 20%... the gamers trained the females with the art of DotA, counter-strike and diablo2, then the gamers launched their offensive again the gangsters
in the decisive battle on netopia, the gamer force was defeated by the gangsters application of drugs that turns idiotic retards into frenzied berserkers! massive damage was dealt and the gamer force retreated! then Level-up games released Ragnarok online... the great wave of enlightenment converted a great amount of gangsters and "bugoys" into gamers! the gangsters countered the wave by making people listen to black eyed peas and other rapcrap, but they didnt succeed because a few elite female gamers of the anti-rap police tracked down Colonel General Mr.RapGuy of the gangster army and assassinated him! the gangster army collapsed because those idiots cant breath if they arent listening to music... the gamers left the remaining alone because it is against the gamer code rule #54 "do not pwn the losers, for they shall pwn themselves"... but... that was their undoing... the gangsters took over ABS-CBN and GMA
they used filipino dubbed dragonball anime as propaganda by changing every other word into "gangster". the great plan was a "success", children all over the land... died...
the gangsters were shocked by the results... desparate, they
secured nightclubs, malls and parks.
gamers can no longer go to malls and buy cds, the gamers were pissed. They hijack the phone company and removed all the dial-up connections of the gangsters. the gangsters no longer have a source for their retarded music plus eons of buttsex that gave them various STDs let them to extinction... the country is now free from the plague of hip hop and gamers across the land roam free!
-deadtim, great historian of the philippines
The philippines is awesome, if you dont think so you'll get AIDS!