4 definitions by david jizziman esq

Top Definition
a former manchester united left back. also a successful erotic fiction writer. his literature can be found under the psedunym marilyn bastardhouse. currently living under the bridge plying his trade as an 18th century highwayman, denis recalls being a young boy struggling to make ends meet, 'i had no money until sir alex taught me water polo'
"look, there's denis irwin, gosh he's grown, he used to be the size of a 1st class stamp"
by david jizziman esq August 13, 2007
when someone is so ugly and sexually frustrated at the same time, they find their penis in and out of a magpie very arrousing.
"i can see why you trained to be a vet, gordon. you clearly have a wish to indulge in some animal love"
by david jizziman esq August 13, 2007
a male of oriental descent, often associated with throwing hard bowler hats at british spies and kung fu kicking several people out of the way all in a matter of seconds. this man will be instantly recognisable due to his little feet and small shoes and even smaller socks
'did you see that yellow man back there?'
'no, i cant believe i missed him, i had my pistol ready'
by david jizziman esq August 13, 2007
a male without any facial hair that is a beard
gary wasnt a man without a beard because, for the very simple reason that he grew a beard when he was thirteen in order to plough into girls of his peer group however when he got to the age of 37 without having done any ploughing he realised he was a loser and he would have to use his hand instead
by david jizziman esq August 13, 2007

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