52 definitions by daltonjfk

Similar to friends with benefits, a hookup that occurs routinely between two people who have no particular feelings for each other but find it convenient to hook up when they end up at the same bar or party.

Automatically connects, even when you don’t want it to.
Drunk and bored at the same party for the third time this month, Julia and Gareth resumed their Bluetooth hookup on Friday.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
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A late-night Uber Pool packed full of passed-out passengers.

Urban mythology has long recounted tales of supposed hookups enjoyed by friends of friends in the backseat of Honda Insights heading from the cluburbs to the suburbs in the early morning hours, though in reality these vehicles are filled only with the smell of tequila and sound of snoring.
1: “You drank 12 Monacos last night before you disappeared - how did you even get home?”
2. “Called a Slumber Pool and asked the driver to marry me when we got back Uptown.”
by daltonjfk October 30, 2019
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To go on a date with oneself.

Lonewolf love and self care to the max. To lay out a spread of charcuterie, wine, and dark chocolate on the river bank; to unicycle into the satin-colored sunset, complimenting yourself on the summer outfit; when you return home, to look in the mirror, tell yourself "my treat," and then to blush.
Now that I’m single I’ll be arguing with myself over who pays the bill and eating all my own popcorn. First-wheeling with no handlebars.
by daltonjfk September 23, 2019
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1. "Why did you screenshot all those DMs you got from Lucia's ex? You trying to start beef?"
2. "Nah, I actually slid into his DMs ages ago after she dipped from the club without paying. The DMs and screenshots are part of the raise cattle phase."
by daltonjfk December 17, 2019
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Any place where sadbois congregate and lament their woes.

Can be a college dorm, a bar table, a Volkswagen Polo, an actual villa, or any other place, provided multiple sadbois are present. Typically smells of Juul smoke.
Hanna: “Want to go to Harvey and Tom’s party tonight?”
Tanya: “Oh god, a party at the sadboi villa and waking up with Juul lung in Max’s spindly arms? I’ll pass.”
by daltonjfk September 8, 2019
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A weed contact. The guy in your phone who gets you wonky.
1: “yo how we gonna get Lucifer’s Lettuce in St Louis?”
2: “dw bro I got a wonktact there”
by daltonjfk September 21, 2019
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The fatty, tasty Seamless/Deliveroo meal you get for free, but only because you have to stay at the office past midnight and can expense it.

New analysts learn to salt their onion rings with their own tears and draw faces on their burger buns to pretend they still have friends. After several hours of weeping over ketchup and Excel spreadsheets, the eater of a burger & cries will often send a “u up” text to the delivery driver.
Those muffled sounds you hear of crackling pickles, crumpling paper bags, and deep, despairing sobs are the analysts in the back digging into their nightly Burger & Cries
by daltonjfk November 27, 2019
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