cut the cards's definitions

jiffy pop

Ilhan Omars turban

Abdul: I see they took Ilhan Omar off the Foreign Affairs Committee.

Bill: Yes, poor jiffy pop head.

by cut the cards March 26, 2023

landing pad

Bald spot

Jill: There's a Chinese balloon headed our way.

Joe: No worries, I will go down on the beach and flash the landing pad for it to land on.

Jill: Good idea. Maybe it is dropping off our cash too.

by cut the cards February 5, 2023

chirp

The wife chirping in your ear all day and night.

Wife: You are going golfing, etc. ?

Hubby: Yes do you approve dear?

Wife: NO. Stay home with me and watch Hallmark channel.

Hubby: See ya I'm going.

Wife: No day drinking otherwise you can forget about you know what later tonight.

Hubby: No problem chirp.

by cut the cards December 31, 2022

convertible

That one guy with a toupee everyone knows is a toupee but thinks no one else knows

Roger: Man, we sure had a good time at the club.

Harvey: Yes. Did you see the convertible ?

Roger: Yes. He didn't think I saw him take out the garbage in the morning with it all the way removed.

by cut the cards March 8, 2023

slackerdrive

Drive your man all around town and pay for the car, gas, insurance, etc. especially when out of henny and weed.

Julie: Where to next baby ?

De'Vontleroy: I tolds you !
Julie: Sorry. Want to swing through Popeyes or KFC too as I slackerdrive ?

by cut the cards December 27, 2022

reeking around the Christmas tree

Relatives that wear old reeking sweaters that smell like cigarettes.

Mabel: How do you like my vintage Christmas sweater I have not washed for decades ?

Junior: It's nice.

Mabel: I am taking a smoke break I will be right back. We will be reeking around the Christmas tree soon.
Junior: Thanks for the warning.

by cut the cards December 19, 2022

mop up

To have to rewipe one's ass a few hours after a shit.

Mike: I need to go mop up it's so hot in this warehouse riding this forklift around.

Boss: Make it fast, we don't have all day.

by cut the cards August 8, 2022