cut the cards's definitions

chirp

The wife chirping in your ear all day and night.

Wife: You are going golfing, etc. ?

Hubby: Yes do you approve dear?

Wife: NO. Stay home with me and watch Hallmark channel.

Hubby: See ya I'm going.

Wife: No day drinking otherwise you can forget about you know what later tonight.

Hubby: No problem chirp.

by cut the cards December 31, 2022

slackerdrive

Drive your man all around town and pay for the car, gas, insurance, etc. especially when out of henny and weed.

Julie: Where to next baby ?

De'Vontleroy: I tolds you !
Julie: Sorry. Want to swing through Popeyes or KFC too as I slackerdrive ?

by cut the cards December 27, 2022

reeking around the Christmas tree

Relatives that wear old reeking sweaters that smell like cigarettes.

Mabel: How do you like my vintage Christmas sweater I have not washed for decades ?

Junior: It's nice.

Mabel: I am taking a smoke break I will be right back. We will be reeking around the Christmas tree soon.
Junior: Thanks for the warning.

by cut the cards December 19, 2022

silver stinker

Someone you met at silver sneakers workout class.

Roger: I went to the spin class at silver sneakers.

Carl: How was it ?

Roger: I met this nice looking older woman.

Carl: How did that go ?

Roger: She turned out to be a silver stinker once we went to her place.

by cut the cards January 7, 2023

parachute

Huge white bloomers

Mike: That gal you picked up last night just left when you were in the shower.
Harvey: Thanks.

Mike: You sure can pick em. She was a big gal.

Harvey: I know, when I woke up out of my stupor I saw her underwear on the floor. I thought I left my window open and a parachute landed through the window. Never again, man.

by cut the cards January 25, 2023

convertible

That one guy with a toupee everyone knows is a toupee but thinks no one else knows

Roger: Man, we sure had a good time at the club.

Harvey: Yes. Did you see the convertible ?

Roger: Yes. He didn't think I saw him take out the garbage in the morning with it all the way removed.

by cut the cards March 8, 2023

card trick

When you run a playing card through your crack then give somebody the business with it.

Greg: I gave my girlfriend the card trick when she fell asleep last night. She was mad, it woke her up out of a dead sleep when I waved it under her nose. She deserved it though.

by cut the cards August 3, 2022