A 118 year old vampire pedophile who is in love with an 18 year old girl, Bella Swan. His main hobby is watching Bella sleep. While most people would think this is creepy, it is now socially acceptable, because Edward is so darn gorgeous that whatever he does is amazing. Edward also enjoys eating mountain lions, smashing things to show how strong he is, and saving Bella from getting killed. Edward Cullen had set the standards so high for men to follow, that women will even compare their boyfriends to him. Some even say, "Why aren't you more like Edward?" Edward is what girls fantasize about, and what boys throw their darts at.
Girl: I cannot believe you! Why don't you want to get married at age 18? We are in love! If Edward Cullen
was my boyfriend, he would marry me! You need to be more like him!
A movie that well... kind of sucked. Based on the previews, it really didn't look bad. Anything that has dancing werewolves and a spoof about some of those insane team Edward/Jacob fans can't be too bad, right? Wrong. This movie is only 80 minutes, but it feels much longer. The movie drags on, and the plot is just random. It has a few good moments that make you laugh, but for the most part, you just want it to end. It doesn't even matter if you love or hate Twilight. Both Twilight lovers and haters could have enjoyed this movie. Instead, lovers hate it because it doesn't even make sense, and haters hate it because it is a lame parody of Twilight. Overall, it is a complete waste of time and money. Enjoy.
Boy #1: "Vampires Suck? Isn't that the movie that makes fun of Twilight? I want to see it!"
Boy #2: "Yeah, well Vampires Suck sucks even more than Edward Cullen with a sippy cup of blood!"