colin cummerbund's definitions

Briggsy spanking

A variety of spanking indulged in by arty types. The spankee coats his arse with oil paints of many colours and bends over a sculpture of Shakespeare. The spanker then larrups the spankees paint-smeared buttocks with a palette or rolled-up canvas. The gleeful yelpings of the spankees are often recorded and sold in art shops as "Sounds to inspire you".

That fellow with the easel has quite a limp. Aubrey.

Yes. I think you'll find he's been the spankee in some Briggsy spanking.

by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006

Feldman frotteurism

A specialised form of frotteurism which is performed in art galleries during a busy exhibition. The Feldman frotteur will then scrape his secretions from his y-fronts and add them to his paints. Usually done by aging yellow-haired ex-hippies.

So why were you put on the sex offenders' register?

I was caught committing Feldman frotteurism.

by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006