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chris firth's definitions

slummer

Somebody who considers themself superior to the working class masses of the UK and who deliberately goes to a naff working class pub or venue for a night's entertainment, merely to wake up thankful the next day that what they experienced isn't actually part of their real lifestyle experience.
Henrietta: Hello, Marmaduke. You look tired. Hectic night?

Marmaduke: Yah. Went incognito up to the council estate and visited a public house doing Karaoke. Smoked forty fags, sang five songs, ate fish and chips and made out with a single parent mother.

Henrietta: Yuk! You slummer.
by chris firth October 14, 2006
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chavigoth

An awkward, bumbling bloke who hasn't quite yet decided whether he is a goth or a chav. He wears goth t-shirts, but has a dodgy hairstyle - half cropped half spiked - and secretly wears trainers at home!
Although he loves Buahaha, he can't resist sneaking in the odd DJ Sweetie track on his white i-pod.
Mum: Are you going out tonight, love?

Chavigoth: Yeah. I mean, yah!

Mum: Where will you be going, sweetie.

Chavigoth: Maccy D's. I mean, the Death Midnight Club!
by chris firth September 15, 2006
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stront

a monster of a person; an ugly, malformed or mutated person circa 2000AD's Strontium Dogs.
1. I don't know what Kater Moss sees in Pete - he's a right ugly little stront

2. No you can't have my cell number, you stront.
by chris firth August 21, 2006
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branwell

After Branwell Bronte.
Yorkshire slang for an intellecual, drug addled, boozed-up waster, (of which there are many here) or one with pretentions of being such - after the infamous opium guzzling brother of the Bronte sisters, who allegedy wrote the novel 'Wuthering Heights but was too wrecked to notice that his sister published it under her name!
(Two old mates meet in a chance encounter at the bar)
Jim-bob: Yo, Marmaduke. How ya doing?
Marmaduke: Hey, I'm fine mate. How's your Ralph?
Jim-bob: Ah, he's always mashed and on the lash these days.
Marmaduke: Yeah, I heard he's turned into a bit of a Branwell.
by chris firth January 25, 2007
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real time

The subjective experience of time passing confirmed as about right by external, objective measuring criteria ie an hour feels about like an hour, and this is confirmed by looking at a clock, where an hour has indeed been measured as having passed. As opposed to (e-time), where time seems to pass at a quicker or slower rate than external measuring systems would suggest.
1. I had an hour real time left at work - and it passed in exactly an hour on the clock.
2. It seemed I'd only been online a few minutes real time, but when I looked at the clock it had been three hours.
by chris firth September 9, 2006
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lalah

A kindly, jovial term for a British (second generation plus) Asian Muslim.
1. Fagger: I'm out of cigarettes and need a smoke.
Fagger's Mate: Ha! And all the shops are closed.
Fagger: No they're not. The lalah corner shop is open all night.

2. You've got to watch those lalahs - they all carry knives.
by chris firth November 6, 2006
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branwell bronte

Yorkshire for an intellecual, drug addled, boozed-up waster, (of which there are many here) or one with pretentions of being such - after the infamous opium guzzling brother of the Bronte sisters, who allegedy wrote the novel 'Wuthering Heights but was too wrecked to notice that his sister published it under her name!
(Two old mates meet in a chance encounter at the bar)
Jim-bob: Yo, Marmaduke. How ya doing?
Marmaduke: Hey, I'm fine mate. How's your Ralph?
Jim-bob: Ah, he's always mashed and on the lash these days.
Marmaduke: Yeah, I heard he's turned into a bit of a Branwell Bronte.
by chris firth January 17, 2007
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