channel_panel's definitions

T Paining

T Paining is a verb used to describe what happens, on a Zoom call, when you start to cut out and your voice starts to glitch and stutter, resembling the heavily autotuned vocals of a T Pain song.

Bob: "The metrics for quarter --- zzz -- bzzz -- fzzzz --- "
Employee: "So it looks like Bob is T Paining right now...let's give him a second to reconnect"

by channel_panel September 29, 2020

cashin nova

Term referring to an unattractive male who gets attention from ladies because he has money.

Girl 1: "Hey! I got a date with that guy Michael from upstairs!"
Girl 2: "You mean the really ugly one who is about 4'2" and has bad breath and terrible skin?"
Girl 1: "Yeahhh grrrll....he's my lil' cashin nova!"

by channel_panel February 27, 2019

kirk

Having a kirk is when you achieve the ultimate sexual experience that all human males have fantasized about every day since the beginning of time -- that is, banging a gorgeous, green skinned alien.
The term 'kirk' is a direct reference to when Captain Kirk got his hands on Marta, the smoking hot alien babe from the infamous Star Trek episode "Whom Gods Destroy" filmed way back in 1969

Guy: "How'd it go with Breanna last night?"
Other Guy: "Well, she's alright, but I just can't seem to quit dreaming about getting a kirk"
Guy: "Tell me about it..."

by channel_panel July 22, 2018

borrowsteal

When you say you are borrowing, but in fact you are really stealing.
Usually used when you ask for permission, but if the person you are asking says "no", it really doesn't matter.

You plan on taking it anyway.

A: "I came up with thisthc-infused recipe for kombucha"
B: "I think I'm gonna have to borrowsteal that..."

by channel_panel June 27, 2020

failing asleep

This term describes the nightly experience of those unfortunate schmucks who just absolutely cannot fucking fall asleep, no matter how much thrashing around in bed they do or how much ruminating over past mistakes they indulge in. Instead of falling asleep, an insomniac is simply failing asleep.

Alice: "Wow, you look like hell"
Bob: "<mumble> last night I was failing asleep and couldn't stop thinking about some shit from middle school when I got my bike stolen"

by channel_panel June 16, 2018

coin box

A nickname reserved for any woman who's been pounded more times than a coin box on Super Mario. Works best if the female doesn't know the true meaning and thinks it's an odd, but maybe sorta sweet nickname.

"Hey coin box! What you doin' tonite?"

by channel_panel January 15, 2017

Starbucks Justice Warrior

A variation on the classic SJW. this version is usually female, blonde, cis normative, a trust fund baby, and clearly going through a shitty "I'm an activist" stage.

Conv between two Starbucks Justice Warriors:
Lisa: "OMG let's go vandalize that sexist billboard that had the girl in the bikini on it!"
Tina: "You mean that billboard that was a bikini ad?"
Lisa: "Yes! That one! First, let's pick up some pumpkin spice lattes, okay?"
Tina: "Yaasssss!!"

by channel_panel March 8, 2019