n. (v. Verbally masturbating)
Describes a person using (or trying but fails) extremely flamboyant, overelaborate, pendantic, overembellished, pompus, language seasoned with a lot of jargon from a certain discipline, sometimes to the extent that it has to be translated or deciphered to be intelligible for the common man; done with the unnecessary need to be meticulously accurate when communicating completely mundane things. May be done with the intent of making others feel inferior…and/or himself superior, part of role-playing, humour, being an idiot, (trying to) showing off how smart you are, and as mentioned an unnecessary need to be meticulously accurate. The true verbal masturbators are the pretentious ones who try but utterly fail because they use words they do not understand and use words across a jargon (inconsistency). Verbal masturbation may or may not appear redundant; however the redundancy is from the choice of words used and not necessarily by its meaning. Additionally, some may feel others are verbally masturbating but do so wrongfully because the situation requires being meticulously accurate
Non exhaustive examples of jargon used are:
Scientific: (star trek, professor Frink from The Simpson’s),
Forensic: (CSI, Sherlock Holmes),
Arcane: (old language, medieval, lord of the rings, star wars),
Prose/poetic: (rhymes, poetic symbolic uses etc. of language usually belonging to the literature world)
dictionary: (sounding like one…)
Leet (1337): sounding like a nerd/geek
girl: romeo and juliet was so romantic and such a deep movie
guy: romeo & juliet with leo dicaprio is one big verbal masturbation from start to end. the rhyming is done with so much intensity and pompousness its embarrasing to watch.
Data: "If you are referring to sexuality, I am... fully functional, programmed in... multiple techniques."
Borg Queen: "How long since you've used them?"
Data: "Eight years, seven months, sixteen days, four minutes, twenty-two seconds..."
(data is verbally masturbating, as he always has)
John cleese: He's not pinin'! he's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! he's expired and gone to meet his maker! he's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! his metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! he's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!! (an excellent example of verbal masturbation used in humour)
a concert were everyone in the audience engage in coital activities, regardless of sex age and race.
meph: "damn that intimacy concert went really well. i think i scored at least 5 times"
cold: "hah amateur, what concert did you go to? i went to whatever's intimacy concert at the ANBU-dome stadium, home of the 'whatever stikers' fotball team. i lost count on how many times i scored."
the original name for what now is called 'nobel peace prize'.
the word was made by the same crack head who invented TNT, or dynamite, by accident as he was attempting to make a new and more potent drug that he could administer by smoking. that is also why the 'flower power prize' before went under the common name 'peace pipe'. this person was one of the many hippies that migrated from USA via Canada and Greenland.
cold: yay, yassir arafat recieved the 'flower power prize'
meph: yeah well, that prize suits his habits just perfectly, i mean you can tell by just looking at his head.