brett burkhardt's definitions

Golden Parachute Punk

A CEO who gets a fat paycheck after running a company into the ground.

Marge lost her 401K and all her company stock was worthless but the Golden Parachute Punk who drove the company into bankruptcy got a severance package of 20 million...the douche.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Clay Pit

Someone who really needs to clean out before anal but doesn’t.

“Dude, I was so psyched when that chick from the bar said she wanted to do anal but she was a total clay pit and now I need to buy some new sheets.”

Everyone knew that Brent was a clay pit, that’s why they never wanted to fuck him.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Crusty tube sock

A slut. Someone who’s taken more loads than a crusty tube sock hidden under a 14 year old’s bed.

“Don’t date her, she’s a crusty tube sock.”

“I’ve known some whores in my day but that guy is the biggest crusty tube sock I’ve ever met.”

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Guido Hair

Hair that looks greasy and disgusting from having too much product in it and can withstand winds of up to 90 miles an hour without even moving.

Anthony thought his hair was super sweet but what woman wants a man who’s hair could be used as a lethal weapon?

“March your ass upstairs right now and wash that crap out of your hair, no son of mine is leaving this house with Guido Hair.”

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Prowling for Predators

1. When police officers pretend to be pre-teens to lure out sexual predators on youth oriented websites and chat rooms.

2. When a teen goes into a sexually explicit chat room or website as if they don’t know what’s going to happen.

Robert loved his job prowling for predators. Sure pretending to be a 12 year old girl was a bit odd but he loved nothing more than busting pervs who tried to meet up with his alter ego at the park.

The girls at Stephanie’s slumber party thought it would be fun to go into the “hot nasty XXX NY/NJ” chat room and start prowling for predators until the creepy messages started.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Geek God

A geek who, under his dorky cloths and silly glasses, has a really hot body and beautiful face. Usually has a great personality and is often socially awkward and completely unaware of his physical beauty.

Eric was shocked to see Steve from IT dancing at the bar. It turns out he's got the body of a Geek God under his lame, ill fitting work cloths.

by Brett Burkhardt March 9, 2008

Calling Cassandra

Named after the Greek prophetess. When you first warn someone about the trouble you see ahead.

“I’m calling Cassandra on this relationship right now. You’ve only been dating for 8 weeks and she’s borrowed over $10,000 from you. This is going to get worse, I’m warning you now.”

When I get into work tomorrow I’m going to call Cassandra on that cheap ass new bookkeeping program my boss bought. I can just see it crashing now and causing all sorts of hell for us.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008