flirt and divert

To flirt with someone to get something out of them and then ditching them.
Alicia was an expert at flirt and divert. She'd approach a guy at the bar, flirt with him all night so long as he paid for the drinks, and then left towards the end of the night when he went to the bathroom.

"I'm going to give her a ride home but she wants to stop at the gas station first."
"Dude, it's just flirt and divert, she's done it at every party I've seen her at. She's going to ask you for some smokes and then will run up a huge tab. The second you pull up she'll jump out and run up to her apartment without so much as a thank you."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
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Douche Dispute

When someone disputes a purchase or service for some stupid reason.
That guy had a real douche dispute. He called in to demand free pizza because there were only 30 pieces of pepperoni on his pizza.

“I want to have all my money back from this flight, it was delayed by 45 minutes.”
“Ma’am, we were in the middle of a blizzard, you’re lucky your flight was even able to leave. If you want to continue with this douche dispute, I will be forced to disconnect this call.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Jewelry Junky

Someone who spends all their money on ugly, shitty jewelry and insists on wearing as much of it as possible.
April hated her jewelry junky roommate. You could hear the banging and clicking of her ugly necklaces, bracelets, anklets, and rings every time she moved around the house.

Annie was a pathetic jewelry junky. She’d parade around the office in 10 cheap gold chains and bracelets up to her elbows.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Someone who has to supervise at a camp or hotel to make sure that none of the high school students at an event sneak in and out of rooms to have sex. Also known as PPP.
With the cheerleading camp sandwiched between the football camp and soccer camp, Joel knew he’d be on pregnancy prevention patrol until his replacement came at dawn.

Mrs. Rivera was an expert at pregnancy prevention patrol. It’s like she could hear a hotel room door opening from two floors away and that’s why they always had her go on the band trips.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Drag Dowager

An older rich woman who dresses and does her hair and makeup in such a way that she resembles a drag queen.
“Girl, check out that drag dowager in isle three. I half expected to see an Adam’s apple on her.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Speaker Phony

Someone who uses a speaker phone to feel like they’re important or doing some sort of important business even thought it’s for something stupid.
Mike hated talking to speaker phony customers. He couldn’t hear half the shit they said and, because they were only ordering pizza, he thought they could just pick up the phone instead of trying to shout at it from half way across the room.

“That guy was such a speaker phony. He called in to talk about his late fee and was 'too busy' to use the regular phone because he was playing x-box 360.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Politipoon

When you feign interest in a politician, political group, event, fundraiser, or offer aid to any of these groups or at these events just to try and get some ass.
Sean knows that he can get some great politipoon if he faked interest in the AIDS walk.

Mary was going to get her some politipoon. First she was going to volunteer at the Obama office, then she was going to stop by the Clinton office and, tomorrow, she was going to have a nice long talk with that hot guy who works the phones at the McCain office.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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