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brett burkhardt's definitions

Snowbird Shit

When you have to clean up the mess an old person makes when moving to or from the place where the live during the winter.

Can also be used when cleaning up any other sort of mess a snowbird makes in their migration like a car accident, when they forget what they ordered at a restaurant and then bitch that you brought the wrong thing, or even if their camper catches on fire and burns down half the camp ground. All of this and much more is snowbird shit.
Erik knew he was going to have to clean up a lot of snowbird shit with this bastard. He was demanding all sorts of fees waved because he was too stupid to have his bills forwarded to his winter address.

The traffic on the highway was backed up for miles because some old bitch in a Lincoln is driving down the center line at 7 miles an hour and she just won't pull over. This is some serious snowbird shit right here and if I'm late for work I'm going to scream
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Snowbird Shitmug.

whorephaned

A person is whorephaned when they are left behind at the bar while their friend/ride leaves to have a one night stand with a stranger
Tina hated going to the bar with her hot roommate because she always ended up being whorephaned with no ride home by 1 am.
by Brett Burkhardt March 9, 2008
mugGet the whorephanedmug.

Uppity Urbanite

Someone who thinks that living downtown is the only way to go and that everyone else is an uncultured rube.
“I can’t visit her, she lives in the suburbs for God’s sake! You might as well ask me to go to the deep south or the dark heart of Africa or some other place with no running water or appletinis!” Shrieked the uppity urbanite.

“Oh...my...God....is that a cow?! Hold me, I’m scared, it’s going to be just like Deliverance
Shut the fuck up, Catherine. If you’re going to pull this uppity urbanite shit with me we will end this road trip right now.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Uppity Urbanitemug.

Martyr Moment

A moment of self denial, privation, or sacrifice that a person uses for sympathy and pity for years on end or to guilt people into doing what they want.
Ed knew that driving his girlfriend to the airport at 4am was just the martyr moment he needed to get more oral.

“Lilly, you can just jump down off that cross now. Staying three minutes after work is not a martyr moment worthy of asking for Friday night off.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Martyr Momentmug.

Geek God

A geek who, under his dorky cloths and silly glasses, has a really hot body and beautiful face. Usually has a great personality and is often socially awkward and completely unaware of his physical beauty.
Eric was shocked to see Steve from IT dancing at the bar. It turns out he's got the body of a Geek God under his lame, ill fitting work cloths.
by Brett Burkhardt March 9, 2008
mugGet the Geek Godmug.

Calling Cassandra

Named after the Greek prophetess. When you first warn someone about the trouble you see ahead.
“I’m calling Cassandra on this relationship right now. You’ve only been dating for 8 weeks and she’s borrowed over $10,000 from you. This is going to get worse, I’m warning you now.”

When I get into work tomorrow I’m going to call Cassandra on that cheap ass new bookkeeping program my boss bought. I can just see it crashing now and causing all sorts of hell for us.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Calling Cassandramug.

Declaw

To say something that will shut someone up who’s being catty.
“If that receptionist says one damn thing about my hair, I will declaw her ass so fast.”

"If she starts getting catty, just say something about her husband leaving her for another woman. That'll declaw her in a second."
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Declawmug.

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