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brett burkhardt's definitions

Bathroom Blather

When a person insists on having a long, drawn out, pointless conversation on their cell phone when going to the bathroom, especially if it is a public bathroom.
"Dude, is there another bathroom here?"
"No, why?"
"There's some asshole in there talking on his cell phone and I just couldn't take a leak."
"Bathroom blather is so fucking rude."

When I heard I toilet flush I knew that this conversation was just bathroom blather.
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
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Clay Pit

Someone who really needs to clean out before anal but doesn’t.
“Dude, I was so psyched when that chick from the bar said she wanted to do anal but she was a total clay pit and now I need to buy some new sheets.”

Everyone knew that Brent was a clay pit, that’s why they never wanted to fuck him.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Nutrition Nazi

Someone who insists on getting in everyone’s face and insulting and belittling them on their food choices.
“Oh, girl, I just watched a Nutrition Nazi rip some poor girl a new asshole for having a carton of non-soy milk in her cart at the grocery store!”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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tab abuse

When you pick up the tab for someone and their simple request turns into a dozen expensive things.
"When we go to the bar and he picks up the tab he limits us to tap beer but when I pick up the tab he insists on getting $10 martinis."
"That us such tab abuse, tell his ass he can buy his own drinks."

A common tab abuse situation.
"I forgot my purse at home, will you buy me a pack of gum and maybe a pack of smokes?"
"Sure."
"Sweet! In that case, I also need another pack of smokes, two frozen pizzas, some chips, a six pack, a box of tampons, and a bottle of vodka...oh and some orange juice..."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
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Bargain Bin Bandit

Someone who gets as much of their clothing, furnishings, books, cds, dvds, etc. from sale racks and bargain bins
Sara the Bargain Bin Bandit somehow managed to look like amazing even though her entire ensemble cost just $30.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Booty Buddy

Not exactly a fuck buddy but someone who you have friendly conversation with just before and after sex during regular booty calls.
“Nick is a great Booty Buddy but I just don’t think we’d get along if we spent time together not having sex.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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Transfer Troll

An asshole who transfers someone to you or another department even though they can handle the problem themselves.
Margo in accounting was a huge transfer troll. She’d send your ass to shipping just so she wouldn’t have to answer any questions about shipping costs that she was entering into the system.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
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