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brett burkhardt's definitions

Down Low Lurker

A man on the DL who lurks around public restrooms, parks, truck stops, porn stores, the locker room and shower at the gym, etc. looking for some random stranger(s) to have sex with.
I hate going to the gym on Thursdays after work. There’s this creepy DL Lurker who always seems to be hanging around in the shower or wandering the locker room in a towel.

I swear to God, her boyfriend is a down low lurker. I see him hanging around by the library bathroom three nights a week.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Down Low Lurkermug.

Declaw

To say something that will shut someone up who’s being catty.
“If that receptionist says one damn thing about my hair, I will declaw her ass so fast.”

"If she starts getting catty, just say something about her husband leaving her for another woman. That'll declaw her in a second."
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Declawmug.

Slow Burn

An insult that doesn’t sink in for awhile.
When Jasmine figured out that slow burn comment from the girl at the bar, she was so pissed.

He’s an idiot, you can say any sort of shit to his face and it’ll be a slow burn. He won’t figure it out for days.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Slow Burnmug.

Coastal Crap

When people from the coasts have an attitude about people who live in the Midwest and the Midwest in general.
If you’re going to come to town with a big bag of coastal crap then why the fuck did you decide to go to college in Iowa?

Once again, Mandy has to pull some coastal crap when she went on a rant about just how “quaint” the sushi places in Chicago are.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Coastal Crapmug.

Clay Pit

Someone who really needs to clean out before anal but doesn’t.
“Dude, I was so psyched when that chick from the bar said she wanted to do anal but she was a total clay pit and now I need to buy some new sheets.”

Everyone knew that Brent was a clay pit, that’s why they never wanted to fuck him.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Clay Pitmug.

Purse Pooch

A small annoying dog that annoying girls carry around in their ugly over priced purses.
Kara has a purse pooch that she dresses up in tiny feather boas and tiaras.

“If that purse pooch yips one more damn time I swear to Jesus I’m going to use it to beat her owner to death.”
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Purse Poochmug.

Release the Beast

Usually used when fighting or about to fight, in this case it is used when hanging up on a rude or abusive caller. Can be used as a passive aggressive weapon if calls are being monitored or if a manager is nearby and you don't want them to hear you rip said caller a new asshole
If this bitch raises her voice to me again, I'll release the beast and hang up on her ass.

"So then I told her that we don't allow non-service dogs in this hotel and she flipped out on me, calling me a cunt and all this other shit."
"What did you do?"
"I released the beast. I wasn't going to stand there listing to someone scream at me over shit I don't control."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
mugGet the Release the Beastmug.

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