6 definitions by bear shaver

shaved bear

A person that has the bodily appearance of a bear, sans fur. Does not in any way qualify as a compliment for women.

I went out with beer goggles last night. I woke up next to a shaved bear.

by bear shaver November 2, 2011

Cleveland Mudslide

Related to the Cleveland Steamer, this variety of the Cleveland Mudslide is identical to the original Steamer, with the exception being that you have diarrhea.

A Cleveland Mudslide, can be accidental.

"I have to swing by Taco Bell real quick. My girlfriend wants a Cleveland Mudslide tonight."

by bear shaver April 13, 2019

hairy cucumber

A dick with hair covering a majority of the shaft and foreskin.

"Fuck him? I didn't even blow him. He had a full on hairy cucumber and I GTFO.

by bear shaver October 12, 2015

scrambled asshole

Has a physical or metaphorical resemblance to a rectum that has not been pounded or flattened, but roughly chopped, lightly blended, possibly, gently puréed.

Y'all about as useful as a bag of scrambled assholes.

He hit the ground so hard his face looked like a scrambled asshole.

by bear shaver July 13, 2021

Vaginal Granulitis

1. Being irritated or easily irritable.
2. Sand in the pussy.
3. "Sandy Cooch" or "Sandy Crotch"

Applies to males and females equally.

"Dude, WTF is Rob's problem?"
"His girl wrecked his car, now he has vaginal granulitis."

"Hey, I noticed Rob is over his vaginal granulitis."
"Yeah, Jane got the car fixed for him and it was like vagisil... Instant relief"

by bear shaver May 31, 2009

brownware

Shit, fecal matter, poop
That brown stuff in the toilet.

"Damn! someone's brownware just stank up the building!"

"Hey, what you doin' in there?" -- "Downloading brownware!"

"Dude?!? There's brownware all over your yard!"

Also:

Rapid Brownware -- Quick Shit
Random Brownware -- Lumpy Diarrhea
Wild Brownware -- Yard Poop

by bear shaver October 29, 2006