The pube fairy eats bogeys and shits out pubes in their place. Everyone wonders at some point in their life what happens to all the bogeys they flick and wipe all over the house, and why pubes pitch up everywhere for no reason at all. It's the pube fairy.
I'm feeling a tad peckish, where's that dirty bogey i wiped on the sofa last night? For fucks sake, that pube fairy bitch ate the bastard and shat out a ginger pube. Bang out of order.