19 definitions by bachelor bob
malk
noun
Any milk alternative made from a non-dairy source (e.g. soy, rice, oats, spelt, bulgar, hemp, coconut, almond, cashew, hazelnut, macadamia, pistachio, sunflower, etc.). Since the National Milk Producers Federation is trying to convince the Food and Drug Administration to outlaw the labeling of any product as "milk" that does not come from a mammary gland, a new name is needed. And since humans should not be drinking liquid from any mammary gland other than a human's, "malk" is definitely the healthiest and least gross choice after a person is weaned.
noun
Any milk alternative made from a non-dairy source (e.g. soy, rice, oats, spelt, bulgar, hemp, coconut, almond, cashew, hazelnut, macadamia, pistachio, sunflower, etc.). Since the National Milk Producers Federation is trying to convince the Food and Drug Administration to outlaw the labeling of any product as "milk" that does not come from a mammary gland, a new name is needed. And since humans should not be drinking liquid from any mammary gland other than a human's, "malk" is definitely the healthiest and least gross choice after a person is weaned.
Mom: "Do you want whole or chocolate milk on your Frosted Flakes?"
Son: "Seriously?! Do I look like a calf or are you just trying to make me diabetic? I'll take hemp malk on my organic, non-GMO, fair trade muesli, thank you very much."
Son: "Seriously?! Do I look like a calf or are you just trying to make me diabetic? I'll take hemp malk on my organic, non-GMO, fair trade muesli, thank you very much."
by bachelor bob January 4, 2017
A compartment for the pilot and sometimes also the crew in an aircraft, so named by stewardesses because the mile-high club was (obviously) initiated there.
Flight-fag: "<Sigh.> There's a fat couple stuck in the bathroom. I swear, these people need to join Jenny Craig before the Mile-High Club.
Tinkerfluff Tina: "You tell the Air Marshal. I'm gonna' go show the hot co-pilot why the cockpit is better than first class."
Flight-fag: "But,... the Air Marshal is the blumpkee in the shitter and the co-pilot is my cum dumpster."
Tinkerfluff Tina: "You tell the Air Marshal. I'm gonna' go show the hot co-pilot why the cockpit is better than first class."
Flight-fag: "But,... the Air Marshal is the blumpkee in the shitter and the co-pilot is my cum dumpster."
by bachelor bob January 8, 2011
When a woman momentarily possesses the mental state of a man (i.e. pays attention and thinks rationally). This is apparently a novel state for most First World women, nearly akin to achieving orgasm.
In a moment of mindfulness, I put down my Danielle Steele novel and felt a wave of despair and suicidal thoughts, suddenly seeing my life for the pointlessly hollow shell of consumerism that it is. Then I downed a mimosa and admired my nails until the clarity passed.
by bachelor bob July 12, 2021
|in ˈvēˌtre(ə)rēən|
noun
a person who does not eat meat, except that which is synthetically grown in labs (beginning circa 2012), especially for moral, religious, or health reasons.
noun
a person who does not eat meat, except that which is synthetically grown in labs (beginning circa 2012), especially for moral, religious, or health reasons.
Flower Child: "Sun Beam, what are you doing?! Are you oppressing one of our Earth sisters?"
Sun Beam: "Re-find your Chi. This Big Mac was grown in a petri dish. I've evolved from vegan to in vitrarian."
Flower Child: "Shit. Grow me a Bacon Double Cheeseburger!"
Sun Beam: "Re-find your Chi. This Big Mac was grown in a petri dish. I've evolved from vegan to in vitrarian."
Flower Child: "Shit. Grow me a Bacon Double Cheeseburger!"
by bachelor bob February 23, 2012
An utterance of encouragement to treat a person/thing as being one's permanent possession/property, free to be mistreated/misused, especially when both the encourager and encouragee know such not to be the case. Commonly done when loss/destruction of a partner/object is imminent, or when one does not take the partner's next partner/item's next owner into consideration.
Kris: I don't think it's going to work between Jamil and me. Our relationship seems so tenuous.
Paul: When you know it's all but over, bone it like you own it!
Andreas: I've been using Paul's car while he's on a 5-week hike, but I'm afraid that it's about to die of its own accord.
Booby: If it's on its way out anyway, bone it like you own it.
Paul: When you know it's all but over, bone it like you own it!
Andreas: I've been using Paul's car while he's on a 5-week hike, but I'm afraid that it's about to die of its own accord.
Booby: If it's on its way out anyway, bone it like you own it.
by bachelor bob September 21, 2012