austicoatk's definitions

cheese bungee

When a large wad of cheese gets partially swallowed (often prematurely) and remains attached to its parent cheese wad inside the mouth, creating a "bungee" cord of cheese from mouth to upper esophagus. The cord can often be pulled out in-tact for entertainment purposes. Cheese bungees occur most often when eating Italian food, grilled-cheese sandwiches, or mozzarella sticks.

Person consuming gratuitously cheesy eggplant paremesan: "blughGagghCACk!!! Holy crap! I Almost choked on that cheese bungee."

by austicoatk March 29, 2010

Spaneuter

A gender-neutral (and thus, politically correct) neologism combining the terms "spay" and "neuter." This word may be used to avoid the more awkward and wordy phrase, "spay and neuter."

Animal rights activist: "Everyone should spay and neuter their pets. If you have a tomcat, please have him neutered; and take that bitch in heat to get spayed!"

Animal owner: "Chill out. I have an appointment to have them spaneutered on Wednesday."

by austicoatk March 16, 2010

Macrotweeting

Blogging.

If the use of Twitter represents "microblogging," then blogging must represent, well, "macrotweeting." Just sayin'.

by austicoatk August 13, 2010

shatter analysis

In the manner of bloodstain splatter analysis, shatter analysis attempts to identify the dietary habits of individuals who spray public toilets with explosive diarrhea.

Investigator: "Judging by the consistency and scale of the cone-shaped spray pattern, my shatter analysis tells me our victim was likely lactose intolerant and had either consumed chipotle, Thai food, or barbecue--followed by a large milk shake for dessert."

by austicoatk February 22, 2013

Anthropomotorism

The practice of accessorizing a car's appearance with fake human body parts, i.e., TruckNutz.

"Hey, did you see the size of those trucksticles on that Prius? That's what I call anthropomotorism!"

by austicoatk December 15, 2011

The Grigsby

A mixed drink cocktail consisting of virgin prune juice and inexpensive whiskey, often garnished with Fiber One bars or Uncle Sam cereal. While offering the health benefits of the Chinese summer drink "suanmeitang," The Grigsby is rivaled only by the Bloody Mary as the most popular mixed drink served during breakfast.

Recipe:
-1 part whiskey or bourbon (the cheaper, the better)
-2 parts prune juice
-coarsely ground high-fiber cereal for garnishing

"Dude, I got so drunk last night, I binged on, like, an entire cheese wheel. Now I'm feeling a little bound up. I need The Grigsby to put me right so I can TAKE a Grigsby."

by austicoatk September 29, 2011

Sparkling Grigsby

A breakfast cocktail based on the popular laxaholic beverage, "The Grigsby," with added amounts of Club Soda or seltzer.

"I'm a big fan of the grigsby, but I'm partial to the Sparkling Grigsby, myself. Love that effervesence!"

by austicoatk September 30, 2011