armageddon ham's definitions

TikTok

The greatest septic tank of cringe there is, next to iFunny and 4chan.
A place where underage kids go to look at Fortnite memes from 2+ years ago
Probably government spyware

'Vro that meme is stolen and it's stolen from fucking TikTok.'
'Jesus fucking christ my little brother is on TikTok.'
'They're banning TikTok, I see this as an absolute win.'

by armageddon ham September 26, 2020

FUBAR

(adjective)
Pronounced Fooh-Bahr, short for Fucked Up Beyond Repair
Examples include the American voting system, the economy, and the brains of baby boomers

This shit is way beyond FUBAR!
Dude America is FUBAR.
Those capitalist pigs are FUBAR, don't you agree comrade?

by armageddon ham December 22, 2020

Joe Biden

1) An old, out of touch senile man who clearly has dementia who fucked Andrew Yang and Bernie Sanders right in the ass and proved how broken the two party system and electoral college are. Still, he's marginally better than Donald Trump, the old, out of touch, racist senile man. Previously served as Barack Obama's vice president, now is serving as the president president.

2) To try and make a compromise where both parties lose just enough to suspect the other side got the better cut.

3) To forget what one is doing, where one is, or even in extreme cases, your own identity.

'Joe Biden just got inaugurated, so the country won't explode for another 4 years.'

'Bro stop pulling a Joe Biden'

'Dude the other day I got totally Joe Bidened when I was searching Amazon, I completely forgot that I was out of toilet paper and food.'

by armageddon ham February 2, 2021

Crowbar

Absolutely one of the most useful tools to have, it can be used as a weapon on account of being heavier than a bat but still slender enough to not be a fucking club. They range in size, but they universally have two sides: One for prying out nails, and another one for more blunt leverage. The side that pries out nails is incredibly effective as a weapon, being able to inflict cuts that a simple knife cannot match. If you use this properly, you are a chad among chads. It's also great for prying stuff open and ripping stuff off.

No wonder Gordon Freeman kicks ass with it.

Anarchist 1: Hey! You got a crowbar, don't you!
Anarchist 2: Yeah, I ordered mine off the internet.
Anarchist 1: Damn, all I got is a knife I duct taped to a pipe.

by armageddon ham September 29, 2020

15 minutes

15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance if you switch to Geico

Person 1: Hey so how are you today?
The Gecko: 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance if you switch to Geico

by armageddon ham September 15, 2020

quarantine 15

as a result of being in quarantine, you don't get any exercise and gain 15 kilograms/pounds. you can use any number from 13-119, but generally its 15. the name comes from the term "freshman 15", when freshmen don't have anyone to cook for them and they eat nothing but mcdonalds and starbucks muffins.

"Man, Dave came down with a case of quarantine 15."
"Yeah, I've done nothing but gaming and watch tv, I have the quarantine 30

by armageddon ham March 25, 2020