armageddon ham's definitions

Crowbar

Absolutely one of the most useful tools to have, it can be used as a weapon on account of being heavier than a bat but still slender enough to not be a fucking club. They range in size, but they universally have two sides: One for prying out nails, and another one for more blunt leverage. The side that pries out nails is incredibly effective as a weapon, being able to inflict cuts that a simple knife cannot match. If you use this properly, you are a chad among chads. It's also great for prying stuff open and ripping stuff off.

No wonder Gordon Freeman kicks ass with it.

Anarchist 1: Hey! You got a crowbar, don't you!
Anarchist 2: Yeah, I ordered mine off the internet.
Anarchist 1: Damn, all I got is a knife I duct taped to a pipe.

by armageddon ham September 29, 2020

TikTok

The greatest septic tank of cringe there is, next to iFunny and 4chan.
A place where underage kids go to look at Fortnite memes from 2+ years ago
Probably government spyware

'Vro that meme is stolen and it's stolen from fucking TikTok.'
'Jesus fucking christ my little brother is on TikTok.'
'They're banning TikTok, I see this as an absolute win.'

by armageddon ham September 26, 2020

Nowhere At The Millennium Of Space

Nowhere At The Millennium Of Space is an album, in similar tone to The Caretaker's Everywhere At The End Of Time, that explores dementia, its effects, and its totality. It's distinguished from Everywhere At The End Of Time in that rather than using music from the 1920's to 1940's, it uses music from the 1960's to 1980's, making it feel much more modern.

'I just finished listening to Everywhere At The End Of Time, depressing stuff.'
'Yeah? Some total chads made a version of that with music from the 60's, 70's and 80's, it's called Nowhere At The Millennium Of Space'

by armageddon ham March 30, 2021

Idiot

If you have to look this up you're one of them

You're an idiot if you don't know what idiot means.

by armageddon ham December 22, 2020

Quaranta Giorni

Italian for 14 days, how long ships would have to stay docked during the black death. Be honest, you heard it from Russel in Half-Life: Alyx.

Alyx: I don't actually know that much about the quarantine zone
Russel: Well the word 'quarantine' comes from the word quaranta giorni, which is how long ships would have to stay docked during the black death.

by armageddon ham September 26, 2020

quarantine 15

as a result of being in quarantine, you don't get any exercise and gain 15 kilograms/pounds. you can use any number from 13-119, but generally its 15. the name comes from the term "freshman 15", when freshmen don't have anyone to cook for them and they eat nothing but mcdonalds and starbucks muffins.

"Man, Dave came down with a case of quarantine 15."
"Yeah, I've done nothing but gaming and watch tv, I have the quarantine 30

by armageddon ham March 25, 2020