armageddon ham's definitions

Crowbar

Absolutely one of the most useful tools to have, it can be used as a weapon on account of being heavier than a bat but still slender enough to not be a fucking club. They range in size, but they universally have two sides: One for prying out nails, and another one for more blunt leverage. The side that pries out nails is incredibly effective as a weapon, being able to inflict cuts that a simple knife cannot match. If you use this properly, you are a chad among chads. It's also great for prying stuff open and ripping stuff off.

No wonder Gordon Freeman kicks ass with it.

Anarchist 1: Hey! You got a crowbar, don't you!
Anarchist 2: Yeah, I ordered mine off the internet.
Anarchist 1: Damn, all I got is a knife I duct taped to a pipe.

by armageddon ham September 29, 2020

Nowhere At The Millennium Of Space

Nowhere At The Millennium Of Space is an album, in similar tone to The Caretaker's Everywhere At The End Of Time, that explores dementia, its effects, and its totality. It's distinguished from Everywhere At The End Of Time in that rather than using music from the 1920's to 1940's, it uses music from the 1960's to 1980's, making it feel much more modern.

'I just finished listening to Everywhere At The End Of Time, depressing stuff.'
'Yeah? Some total chads made a version of that with music from the 60's, 70's and 80's, it's called Nowhere At The Millennium Of Space'

by armageddon ham March 30, 2021

TikTok

The greatest septic tank of cringe there is, next to iFunny and 4chan.
A place where underage kids go to look at Fortnite memes from 2+ years ago
Probably government spyware

'Vro that meme is stolen and it's stolen from fucking TikTok.'
'Jesus fucking christ my little brother is on TikTok.'
'They're banning TikTok, I see this as an absolute win.'

by armageddon ham September 26, 2020

Covidiot

Term created by the centrist(ew) media to describe people who don't wear masks or follow basic hygiene, such as not coughing on people because they got your McDonald's order wrong.

Some lamestream news anchor: Yes the covidiots are spreading the virus
Some Gen Xer: I can't believe there are so many covidiots!

by armageddon ham September 26, 2020

Quaranta Giorni

Italian for 14 days, how long ships would have to stay docked during the black death. Be honest, you heard it from Russel in Half-Life: Alyx.

Alyx: I don't actually know that much about the quarantine zone
Russel: Well the word 'quarantine' comes from the word quaranta giorni, which is how long ships would have to stay docked during the black death.

by armageddon ham September 26, 2020

Joe Biden

1) An old, out of touch senile man who clearly has dementia who fucked Andrew Yang and Bernie Sanders right in the ass and proved how broken the two party system and electoral college are. Still, he's marginally better than Donald Trump, the old, out of touch, racist senile man. Previously served as Barack Obama's vice president, now is serving as the president president.

2) To try and make a compromise where both parties lose just enough to suspect the other side got the better cut.

3) To forget what one is doing, where one is, or even in extreme cases, your own identity.

'Joe Biden just got inaugurated, so the country won't explode for another 4 years.'

'Bro stop pulling a Joe Biden'

'Dude the other day I got totally Joe Bidened when I was searching Amazon, I completely forgot that I was out of toilet paper and food.'

by armageddon ham February 2, 2021