ZonaCat Hansen's definitions

Swollen Head Syndrome (SHS)

An affliction that ails men entering middle age, usually evidenced by a swollen head that was not present in their teens or twenties. As best can be determined, SHS is caused by a lifetime of a diet high in animal fats and high sodium intake.

After watching William Shatner in "Star Trek" and John Travolta in "Welcome Back Kotter," then again seeing them both over twenty years later in "Boston Legal" and "Pulp Fiction," it was clear that both venerable actors suffered from Swollen Head Syndrome (SHS).

by ZonaCat Hansen June 28, 2008

buffed stallion

A studly, male gym rat with six-pack abs, who works on his body daily. Sometimes a user of anabolic steroids or sometimes he is just blessed with good genetics. Maintains a bodyfat of less than 9% despite having more than nominal muscle mass.

At the hair salon, Mary and the other older women commented on what a "buffed stallion" the UPS Driver was and how they would love to have one-night with him.

by ZonaCat Hansen June 28, 2008

java-hipster

A pretentious, bohemian wanna-be, who frequents various coffee shops. He loves to spout his artiste-poseur opinions loudly in everyday conversation to anyone who will listen, so that his strong opinions can be heard by random strangers that he pines to impress. Almost always knows less than he tries so hard to convey. Usually has a laptop hooked up to wi-fi, yet rarely if ever touches the keyboard. Prefers to sit outside at the sidewalk table if possible so that he can be seen by as many cool locals as possible. Prides himself of being hip as evidenced by donning the latest trendy, hipster, hair-do. i.e., dreadlocks, shaved head, etc...

The "java-hipster" raved loudly to his nose-ringed buddies about the latest Johnny Depp film as the irritated cafe patrons feigned a yawn in his direction to show obvious annoyance at his pathetic attempts to be heard by all.

by ZonaCat Hansen June 28, 2008

cerebral constipation

The act of completely forgetting the name of an actor, song, book, movie or name of anything that one is generally familiar with. The "on-the-tip-of-my-tongue" phenomenon. The 'mind-burp' is the moment of relief, the actual recall. i.e., "Aha! I got it! I remember!"

The movie buff had a bad case of "cerebral constipation" as he choked under pressure when the cute waitress asked him for the name of his favorite romantic comedy.

by ZonaCat Hansen June 28, 2008

mind burp

The moment of relief when on has made a breakthrough on their "cerebral constipation." The "aha, I remember" phenomenon when one finally, remembers what they have struggling to remember.

After being asked what mafia film won Best Picture 1972, the movie buff, after struggling for 27 minutes, finally had a "mind burp" as he cried out, I got it, I got, "the Godfather!"

by ZonaCat Hansen June 28, 2008

docucomedy

Like a docudrama, a "docucomedy" is an accurate reenactment of a true-life story. However, for a filmmaker, a "docucomedy" is far more challenging than a docudrama as the comedic moments and funny dialogue peppered throughout "had to have really happened." i.e., They must be real and naturally occurring not fabricated.

Sometimes, the dry, fact-based, narrative of Detective Joe Friday (upon questioning a stoned hippie) in the TV police docudrama, "Dragnet," contained some elements of a "docucomedy."

Nonetheless, a "docucomedy" is not to be confused with the comedic mockumentary genre that includes films such as "Borat," "Spinal Tap" or "Mail Order Wife."

For people who truly believe that their life story is a full-on, human comedy or if they think that last year's vacation in China (looking for their future spouse) was a "non-stop, barrel of laughs," perhaps they should seriously consider making a "docucomedy."

by ZonaCat Hansen December 9, 2008