1 definition by YourAlmostBestFriend
The fateful circumstance where everything that could possibly go wrong, goes wrong in a narrow timeframe; a Murphy's law special. The collective series of negative events happening simultaneously as if the red moon and stars aligned. Life did not simply give you the middle finger, it spawned a breed of Thumb-Thumb's from Spy Kids except instead of thumbs, they were exclusively comprised of middle finger appendages sent to tackle you in the night. The scratch off ticket you thought would yield you no more than a flat tire or a spaghetti sauce-stained dress shirt actually rendered the mother-load of Powerball prizes. You sir just unveiled the golden ticket to Milly Monka's Chocolate Sweatshop (and no, the snozzberries do not taste like snozzberries.) The good news is that this only happens to 0.00069% of the population.
Jessica: Hey man, what's wrong?
Tom: *sniffles* well, uhh, Kaitlyn broke up with me today right after I got into the motorcycle accident and my pet sugar glider died from testicular cancer this morning.
Jessica: ohh gee, sorry bud. Well at least your parents' divorce anniversary isn't for another month yet.
Tom: actually it's today..
Jessica: damn, guess you hit the anti lottery.
Tom: *sniffles* well, uhh, Kaitlyn broke up with me today right after I got into the motorcycle accident and my pet sugar glider died from testicular cancer this morning.
Jessica: ohh gee, sorry bud. Well at least your parents' divorce anniversary isn't for another month yet.
Tom: actually it's today..
Jessica: damn, guess you hit the anti lottery.
by YourAlmostBestFriend March 17, 2022