Yopmail User's definitions

Reddit

A sex act in which the man must shove a large bottle of Diet Coke up his ass (the cap facing outward), open it, drop Mentos in it, and quickly position the bottle so that the opening is inside of the girl's vagina. If the bottle is positioned correctly, this will cause Diet Coke and Mentos to rush to every corner of her reproductive system, which will be destroyed as a result, resulting in severe pain. The man will then yell statements Redditors deem "holy," such as "FORTNITE IS HITLER AND MINECRAFT IS JESUS AND ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS A NAZI!!!" Using the girl's boobs as a canvas, the man must draw a Snoo while using her vaginal fluids as fingerpaint. Shitting in the girl's mouth afterwards optional.

Jill woke up in severe pain the next morning after being given a Reddit by her boyfriend, Jim.

by Yopmail User July 10, 2022

Rubik's Cube

To pour six cans of paint on your head (each of them representing colors on an actual Rubik's Cube), which you penetrate your girlfriend's ass and vagina with (either order is fine) while ramming it as far up as possible and violently nodding during both processes for maximum pleasure. Consent is not required.

That kid's vagina smelled great during that Rubik's Cube. Her ass was not so beautiful.

by Yopmail User April 11, 2023

Pineapple Pizza

The fastest way to turn a discussion into a warzone. Bring up anchovies for bonus points.

Fred, Ursula, Charles, and Kyle: *civil discussion about lamps*
Douchebag: Pineapple pizza is Hitler/Jesus!
*cue World War 3*

by Yopmail User August 3, 2023

Sesame Street

While dressed up as Elmo, you shit and piss in a girl's mouth and vagina and engage in mutual masturbation with her boyfriend before slicing his dick off. Then, you take some of the boy's blood and pour it in the girl's vagina. You must then make your way to the nearest preschool, carrying the severed dick and the naked girl with you. While you're at it, you must ask the youngest child vaguely sexual questions and, when everyone least expects it, you hijack the teacher's computer to play snuff films, strip the girl naked, rub the severed penis in everyone's faces, and violently rape everyone in sight. Make sure you have the whole thing on tape.

After doing the Sesame Street with a girl and some kids, I got out of the preschool and made a run for it, knowing damn well the cops would be onto me.

by Yopmail User August 23, 2022

pleasing the plumbers

Pleasing the plumbers occurs when one's sexual attraction to someone else drives them to fuck their crushes by any means necessary. Pleasing the plumbers can include but is not limited to stalking/cyberstalking, sexting, making comments on body parts, voyeurism, and asking for sexual favors. Pleasers of plumbers will ignore their crushes' discomfort and relentlessly seek the opportunity to fuck them. Thus, consent is not an issue.

Hitler's been sexually harassing that little girl, even after she told him to stop! He must be pleasing the plumbers!

by Yopmail User August 22, 2022

Eat

To simultaneously shit and piss in a girl's mouth. Using her mouth as a bowl, you must use a spoon to fish out parts of the mixture (which now contains saliva, and possibly vomit), which you then eat. Once her mouth is (mostly) free of shit and piss, you must spit the mixture in her vagina and perform cunnilingus on her. Bonus points if she is having her period. Swallow when you are finished.

Guy 1: wanna "go out" to eat?
Girl 1: YEAH!!!!!
Guy 1: good, come over to my place tomorrow
*The next day*
Guy 1 (while shitting and pissing): HNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG
Girl 1: S-STO- *garglegarglegarglegargle*

by Yopmail User July 8, 2022

Sesame Street

While dressed up as Elmo, you slice someone's dick off while the both of you are masturbating and carry the severed dick to a preschool. Make sure you have a woman with you. In the preschool, you enter a classroom, interview the youngest child, and ask them vaguely sexual questions while keeping the severed dick a secret. When the child least expects it, you strip the woman naked, shove the severed dick in the woman's mouth in front of the child (and everyone else, for that matter), and use the blood from the severed penis to draw a dick on her boobs. You must then throw the severed dick in the teacher's mouth, assume control of her laptop, and play snuff films on the smartboard.

This definition of Sesame Street was sponsored by the letter D!

by Yopmail User August 14, 2022