Yopmail User's definitions

new years

To perform this sex act, you need to gather the vomit, shit, saliva, and cum/vaginal fluids of ten kindergarteners whose birthdays fall on January/September 1st, as well as your own. Pour them in a blender and let the mixture blend for thirty minutes. After it's finished, make a human centipede out of the kindergarteners with a staplegun, feed the mixture and some laxatives to the first kid, and quickly staple his anus to the last kid's mouth to finish the cycle of gurgling and shitting. It should be noted that the kids will try to break free, so it won't hurt to glue their limbs to the floor. After an hour, break the link between the first and last kid, give the first kid Diet Coke and Mentos up the ass, and quickly staple his ass to the last kid's mouth. Finish the act by beating off on each kid's face.

New Years is every politician's favorite sex act.

by Yopmail User January 8, 2023

antidisestablishmentarianism

1. (n.) Opposition of the separation of church and state.
2. (n.) A word you can't spell correctly. I can.
3. (n.) A word you only know exists because of that Wikipedia definition you read five seconds ago.

1. Antidisestablishmentarianism was first developed in 19th century Britain. Blah blah blah blah shit no one cares about.
2. Stand in front of the mirror with your pants down and spell antidisestablishmentarianism at the top of your lungs. I dare you.
3. Real antidisestablishmentarians don't use Wikipedia. Grow some balls.

by Yopmail User July 4, 2023

Your Child's Asscrack

If Joe Biden is even ten miles away from it, you're fucked.

Reporting live from Yopmail User News! A man and his child have committed suicide after Joe Biden ravaged the kid's asscrack! If you give a shit about your child's asscrack, don't let the Joepedo near it.

by Yopmail User November 6, 2022

Declare War on the North Pole Day

A day for naughty kids to arm themselves with Nerf guns, marking their futile declaration of war against Santa and the North Pole. Always occurs on December 26th.

Declare War on the North Pole Day 2022
Naughty kid 1: I-I-I saw it in F-Fortnite! I-if we enter through the front door we will kill the elves and s-s-seize the means of production!
Rest of the naughty kids: H-HEIL... C-C-COMMUNISM!! PRAISE STALIN AND FORTNITE!!
Santa Claus: *exits workshop* The fuck is this shit?
Naughty kids: FORTNITE BATTLE PASS PLZZZZ!!! FOLLOW MY TIKTO-
*Santa guns them all down with an AR-15*

by Yopmail User February 23, 2023

your dick

No woman in a thousand-mile radius would ever want to suck it.

You'd have to be dumber than Joe Biden to look this shit up on Urban Dictionary. Your dick will remain small either way, dumbass.

by Yopmail User November 24, 2022

Blossom

1. To pour Diet Coke and Mentos, in that order, down a girl's vagina. This will cause the formation of a soda geyser in her uterus and vagina, which will fuck up her reproductive system and launch soda the fuck out of her vagina. (verb)

2. The Powerpuff Girl of the same name, and leader of the trio. Wears a red bow to assert dominance. (noun)

1.
Guy 1: I gonna blossom (pours Diet Coke and Mentos down girl's vagina)
Girl 1: *screams in agony* THAT HURTS WHAT THE FUCK (The soda geyser in her vagina drenches Guy 1)
Guy 1: *masturbating in Girl 1's mouth*
(Girl 1 has her period, adding blood to the geyser. She then faints)
Guy 1: *takes picture of Girl 1's fucked-up vagina*

2. No example needed

by Yopmail User June 26, 2022

Dib

(noun) A nickname for any person who is spouting bullshit and/or making irrational claims. Can also be used to describe someone who disagrees with you. Named after the Invader Zim character of the same name.

Idiot: Biden is a good president!
Rational person: Shut up, Dib.

by Yopmail User August 30, 2022