1 definition by Von Cockenberg

(v.) the act of sodomizing an unsuspecting homosexual negroid; often results in the contraction of AIDS. When jareding, the perpetrator lures in a pack of niggers with a bucket of fresh KFC. As the apes feast on the chicken, he thoroughly inspects them, searching for the one with the largest, most African elephant dick.

Although penises with piercings and other tribal deformities are preferred, the largest cock will suffice for jareding. Once a suitable porch monkey is selected, he will coerce the creature with pictures of female apes. As the negroid achieves a massive erection, the jareder will sneak up and position his well greased anus above the shaft.

In one swift motion, the perpetrator impales his ass on the cock and rides it like a cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, eventually causing the negroid to ejaculate. In the final step of jareding, the sick fuck will proceed to collect the semen and pour it over fresh chalupas, as he is usually 13 year old faggot Taco Bell fanboy. As he eats the chalupas, the jareder smiles with joy stroking his tiny 2.3" dick to a picture of Jack Bauer, contemplating his next victim.
Blake: My asshole is feeling really tight, you wanna go jared tonight?

Jared: Sure Mr. Locati! I'd love to go, although I call dibs on your freshly made semen-covered tacos, I'm too much of a curly headed fucking jew to pay for Taco Bell! Did I mention I'm gay?
by Von Cockenberg January 3, 2011
Get the jared mug.