Usebleach's definitions

Kicked in Old slag

Kicked in Old slag is someone who ends up down the Womens Centre because the Pigs couldnt be bothered to arrest her Pakistani husband down the mosque before he did her in.

Police on the radio: "Yeah, I'm going to check on the kicked in Old slag at the Womens Centre now."

by Usebleach December 8, 2020

OffKey

Offkey

Offkey describes someone who, out of nowhere, brings up the fact that they're on their menopause.

Example:

John the man: "Oh hi Sue. How was yr weekend?"
Sue responds with something Offkey like: "I spent it on my menopause. Happy now?" and then walks off in a neurotic mess, looking for her car keys, cos shes got Brainfog.

by Usebleach May 28, 2022

Jorg Flow-d

A Jorg Flow-d is a coconut footballer, who takes the knee for black criminals, before every UK premiere league match.

Fan to hus mate at a premiere league match: "Look at him, bended down on one knee."

Fans friend shouts: "Get up you Jorg Flow-d, and start scoring some goals for the UK; not America."

by Usebleach May 28, 2022

SAME SEX MARRIAGE

A "same sex marriage" is someone who has crows feet and looks like a woman, but doesn't have a menstrual cycle, so is a man.

Doctor: "Did you see any blood coming from between its legs?"
Patients husband: "No. Is my wife a same sex marriage then, Doc?"
Doctor: "Yeah, it looks like yr wifes a man!!! Get off the 321 bus"
Patients husband: "But all she's got is a CO2 emitting car for me to drive"
Doctor: "I'm afraid its no longer within our remit."
Patients Husband: "But what about the environment?"

by Usebleach August 3, 2020

C.H.B

C.H.B. stands for COUNCIL HOUSE BARRISTER, and is someone who is believed to have lived in a council house(NOT), who failed their exams, and made friends with crackheads, before they slept their way into Oxford/Cambridge, and then to the BAR.

Oxford Neighbour1 talking to neighbour2: "Here comes that C.H.B with that decent man."
Neighbour 2: "Well at least there's no camels."

by Usebleach March 12, 2020