1 definition by Ursula Grandita
A kind of heavy metal music that is much heavier than anything up to date. Typically it goes on at tempos not slower than 210 - 220 Bpm with ultra distorted guitars tuned at least 3 tones downwards (6th string at G#) pounding complicated sixteenth note riffs on the first four frets of the two last strings, the bassist usually plays all in 32nd notes in double-slapping fashion and is usually tuned even lower (6th string as much as the E 1 octave downwards) doubled by a synth wich plays in unison 2 octaves below, the bassists also tend to use very large speakers (18 to 45 inches) driven by two or more tube amps plugged in series (the output of one in the input of the other for added power) those said amps are no less than 2500 watts in power. The drums are simply huge, they span at least four bass drums (two doubles), in the case of more bass drums it is not uncommon that the drummer is assisted by additionnal drummers usually one by pair of double bass drum. The additional drummers pass the entire gig lying on the floor with a pedal in each feet and hand. Sometimes, if the set asks for it, these additional drummers are assigned to operate an additional snare with their mouth, also this serves the purpose of making them concentrate more on their set since their mouth is filled with the snare drum stick and they cannot talk or complain. The same Additionnal drummer principle goes for snares and toms. The main drummer is to operate no more than 24 (two times the number of apostles) toms and snares. every additional drummer assigned to toms and snares is hung above their set and beats it with sticks attached to both his hands feet hips mouths and ears (to preserve from talking whining about their conditions and hearing damage). Everybody in the band sings, this task is hardwired in the members by having wireless microphnes implanted in them. Those microphnes are emitting constantly so even if the member does not want to sing he still produces at least nearby organ sounds that add to the delicate texture of the music.
Celine Dion and Cthulu Adorning Someday, Flatt Scrubb and Shine, Kick that bastard in the Schnolles until he Vomits, The Piping Plan, Christine's World, Semestrial Implants, Wuthering Heights, Lucid landrover Special, Cultivating Doorknobs Suspiciously, Vagina Haywire and Hairy Posthumous Penny, Pepsi in a Paper Glass, Anxious Button Fly Baseball, etc etc These are all great Emo "metal" bands, there are a lot greater unknown ones that dont get as much press coverage but are promised, if not to be as big as any of the above, at least to acquire an underground legendary status for decades to come.
by Ursula Grandita November 24, 2007