1) City to which summer visitors move and end up slitting their wrists in February following 60-plus days of rain;
2) City that's still trying to get mileage off grunge music, over-roasted coffee beans, malfunctioning computer operating systems, and a dying aerospace industry;
3) City with its head so far up its own ass, it may as well rain for the next hundred years (and just might), because the hood-eyed freaks and pseudo-intellectuals wouldn't know the difference;
4) City whose Space Needle ensures that they will never be more than a West Coast, all-white Atlanta; and whose homogeneity takes all the credibility out of their so-called "tolerance."
4) City that is also called the "Emerald City" to lure ignorant tourists; in reality, is more than a little bit dark and evil - a true Scorpio city that could be the setting for a TV series based on "The Omen";
5) City motto: "Seattle: You're so close to Vancouver, why the hell are you living here?"
In September Kay moved to Seattle to work at a tuberous vegetable cooperative. By January she had pulled all her hair out, and in February threw herself off a 20-story building.
"Yes, as matter of fact I am dumb enough to live in Seattle despite the fact that British Columbia and free health care are only a ferry ride away, in Victoria. I make my living selling hemp shower curtains at Pike Place Market."
Californian #1: The traffic in Seattle was so bad, I thought I was in L.A.
Californian #2: Yeah; and if I eat any more wild salmon I'm gonna hurl!"
Seattle has two things going for it: Nordstrom and Elliott Bay Bookstore.
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