Also known as Mao's Revenge, this illness is typically the preserve of foreign visitors (normally Westerners) to China. Has been known to affect people immediately after arrival. Can involve the following symptoms. The shits, runny shits, very runny shits, explosive shits, firecracker shits (or ring of fire), vomiting, hallucinations, bloating, sponsorship from toilet roll and plunger companies, wishing for death, will writing, itchiness in the upper colon, last rites, dramatic weight loss and a general feeling of discontent. Constipation is not a symptom.
Be sure to bring a roll of Charmin with you, the local one-ply doesn't hold up to China Syndrome