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9 definitions by Unkie Al

 
1.
Any speech that has been slurred from drunkenness, distorted by lousy loudspeakers, or just rendered incomprehensible by other means. Refers to the "whaa-whaa-whaa" trombone effect from old Peanuts TV specials, indicating when an adult was speaking. Originally used in this context Feb. '06 on the DCRTV.COM (Washington area radio and television) website .
(Loudspeakers at Philadelphia's 30th Street Amtrak station) "Whaa-whaa-whaa Track 6".

Ed: Sounds like they hired a Charlie Brown Teacher to do the announcements.
by Unkie Al February 11, 2006
 
2.
Literally, "zapped nipple". Walk across a carpet on a dry day, then touch a companion - male or female - through their clothing on their chest to deliver a static shock directly to their areola. The sensation is not painful or lasting, but is hard to forget. Also known as the "Areola Borealis"
He: "Hey, ever have a Zapple?"
She: "What is that, iced tea?"
He: "Nope (zap!)"
She: "OW! You @#$% ! ! !"
by Unkie Al December 08, 2005
 
3.
Verb; to listen with a critical or objective ear. One would "earball" a great music remix or other piece of audio in the same way as one might "eyeball" a hot chick.

Note that this differs from the two-word definition "ear ball" elsewhere on Urban Dictionary, which refers to the inner workings of the human ear.
Cliche guy #1: Made some slammin' breakbeats on my computer last night and I got 'em in my player.

Cliche guy #2 Gimme your 'phones man, lemme earball 'em.
by Unkie Al February 21, 2006
 
4.
Street pronunciation of "that's all." Related to "dassit."
Porky Pig Cartoon: "That's All, Folks!"
Inner City Cartoon: "Dassall, muthaf***azz!"
by Unkie Al September 13, 2006
 
5.
Acronym: shorthand for "Just So I Know", used in corporate emails. Similar in use to JSYK (Just So You Know), another way of saying FYI.
JSIK, I have 2 wks of vacation this year, right?
by Unkie Al May 23, 2006
 
6.
A violent emotional reaction; a conniption; an over-the-top angry response to a situation. More seismic than simply "he shit his pants." A square shit is painful and difficult, due to the presence of pointed corners at the edges, so to "take a square shit" means one's reaction to a situation or its outcome must be equally painful and likely beyond hope.
"My dad took a square shit when he saw what I did to the front bumper of his car."

or

"I took such a square shit when I heard I was working for Matt New Year's Eve."
by Unkie Al December 29, 2005
 
7.
A rather lofty euphemism for "dingleberries"; small bits of toilet paper that hang on for dear life after a bathroom trip. Useful when "dingleberry" comes across as too juvenile, or when female company finds the word too disgustingly vivid.

Name is derived from the (mostly) white color and winged shape of the paper pieces.
(Sound effect: Ploink! Man 1 screams)
Man 2: Dude, what are you doing in the bathroom?
Man 1: Just plucking out a few asshole angels.
by Unkie Al November 10, 2007