133 definitions by Uncle Joosie
after Election Day 2018 when America partially rid itself of incompetent racist complicit cheating republicans
2018's Midterm Elections' Blue Tsunami was actually a blue douche where a good portion GOP fuckers were flushed out for a new Democratic congress
by Uncle Joosie May 3, 2019
Clyde was visiting gal pal and single mum Cindy, who's 8-month-old Horatio was Clyde's nephew. As always they went in the bedroom to play Earthquake Baby with Horatio and the baby bounced so high he nearly sprang right off the bed and on the floor. "Whew that was a close one," Cindy and Clyde said together. "Let's never speak of this again."
by Uncle Joosie February 1, 2021
repressed stuck-up Christian Mike Pence—JC Penney catalog-idea of almost-handsome—debated Kamala Harris and had a house fly land on his head. When the fly's regurgitation interacted with Pence's hairspray he instantly transformed into Fly Girl Pence; filed for divorce from Karen; and admitted being in a long-term affair with a fella named Eduardo.
by Uncle Joosie October 8, 2020
after exchanging niceties and compliments with his new match, Bartholomew saw the dreaded "What brings you on?" pop up in his Tinder chat with Beatrice. "my fucking god," he thought, "why do people ask that dumb fucking question? what brings me on? I used my fingers swiping an app that probably sells my location data. fuck off, lady" and he immediately unmatched
by Uncle Joosie May 2, 2022
"Digitization supercharges financialization," writes Cory Doctorow about Autoenshittification. "amid all the complaining about cars getting stuck in the Internet of Shit, there's still not much discussion of why the carmakers are making their products less attractive, less reliable, less safe, and less resilient by stuffing them full of microchips"
by Uncle Joosie July 24, 2023
Lou and Skyler turned on the evening news and ended up shouting at their screen. “why the ACTUAL fuck is this Emily person blabbing to multiple media outlets? #TFG is on-the-hook for felonies and she could be screwing things up. Chatty Emily might ratfuck everything in her 15 minutes”
by Uncle Joosie February 22, 2023
when your dental hygiene resembles Brett Kavanaugh's
by Uncle Joosie September 26, 2018