12 definitions by Uncle Des

Utica

Like being dead, but without the fun.

"I died and went to Utica."

"Utica failed in its bid to be twinned with Pluto"

by Uncle Des November 26, 2009

Canarsie

The aftereffect of either

1/ Super-hot Mexican or Indian food, or

2/ A huge, compacted poop that came out feeling like you were giving birth to a huge sandpaper baby through your butt.

Guy1: "You are walking funny: what happened?"
Guy2: "Feeling canarsie after that vindaloo last night..."

by Uncle Des July 26, 2009

Hearing Aid

Derogatory term for a Bluetooth earpiece worn by anyone over 40 years old in the sad belief that it makes them look cool. Seen from the opposite side, it makes them look like an old person suffering from semile dementia and talking to themselves.

Middle-aged woman apparently talking to herself in park.
Guy: "What's up with grandma over there?"
Girl: "She's on her hearing aid again to her daughter."

by Uncle Des August 21, 2009

Scatalogically Similar: Diurnal Discrepancy

The way you can say "Same Shit: Different Day" to family, friends, boss, co-workers, priests, cops, Oprah Winfrey, Sarah Palin etc and sound highly literate.

It even has the same acronym (SSDD).

Scholar 1: "How goes the research into Shakespeare's use of Jungian allegory in his tragedies?"

Scholar 2: "Scatalogically Similar: Diurnal Discrepancy."

Scholar 3: "Ah yes, indeed." (Cluemeter reading zero)

by Uncle Des September 4, 2010

Outlet Shopping

When your cell phone, iPod or computer battery is just about to die, and you are engaged in a frantic hunt for an electrical socket to plug it into at an airport, you're "outlet shopping".

"Man, my phone gave up the ghost at LaGuardia, and I was outlet shopping for 15 minutes 'cos none of these geeks would let me plug in..."

by Uncle Des June 27, 2009