14 definitions by Turkey Trot
A mechanical condition where your car leaks fluids, blows smoke, and makes horrible noises...until you take it to the shop and the mechanic can't find anything wrong with your vehicle. After spending $45 an hour for a diagnostic check which revealed nothing, the vehicle runs perfect.
Customer: "The Check-Engine Light and Service Engine Soon Light both came on. I smelled a burning smell, like something electrical. Then there was this grinding noise on the right side."
Mechanic: "I drove it around for 30 minutes and I didn't hear or smell anything. If you notice anything, bring it back and we'll deduct the price of today's service from the repair."
Customer: "I think my car's suffering from Vehicular Hypochondria! I swear it sounded like it was going to die! Now it's perfect. Go figure!"
Mechanic: "I drove it around for 30 minutes and I didn't hear or smell anything. If you notice anything, bring it back and we'll deduct the price of today's service from the repair."
Customer: "I think my car's suffering from Vehicular Hypochondria! I swear it sounded like it was going to die! Now it's perfect. Go figure!"
by Turkey Trot April 25, 2012
People you know from church, but are not really friends with outside of church. They notice you at Wal-Mart on Sunday afternoon after you skipped church that day and approach you to announce that they missed you in church, expecting either a doctor's note or an explanation as to where you were.
Wife: "Shoot! I ran into the Church Police while I was at Wal-Mart."
Husband: "Who was it?"
Wife: "Betty and George."
Husband: "Did they say anything?"
Wife: "Yeah. 'We missed you today at church.'"
Husband: "What'd you say?"
Wife: "One of the kids was sick."
Husband: "Who was it?"
Wife: "Betty and George."
Husband: "Did they say anything?"
Wife: "Yeah. 'We missed you today at church.'"
Husband: "What'd you say?"
Wife: "One of the kids was sick."
by Turkey Trot February 28, 2011
by Turkey Trot November 6, 2010
A set of items which can be used in any fix-it applications. An Italian tool kit consists of a paint scraper, which can be used as an ice scraper, a chisel, a screw driver, a griddle cleaner, a BBQ scraper, a pry bar, a box cutter, a fly swatter. There is also a hammer which can be used like a hammer, but not usually. A hammer is used when a screwdriver is not handy or is too time-consuming. The claw end of the hammer can be used to open bottles. A wire coat hanger: This can be used to stir paint, open a locked car door, replace the car's radio antenna, clean a clogged drain, clean the vent on a clothes dryer. Electrical tape: much more precise than that old Redneck Duct tape, which BTW loses it's sticky. Electrical tape will be around for decades longer than duct tape.
"Yo, Benny! Go in the Italian tool kit and get the paint scraper, I need to open the window; I forgot my keys on the kitchen counter!
by Turkey Trot November 11, 2010
A pomegranate. Lovely red leathery-skinned fruit, with little bitty corn-shaped berry type seeds inside. The seeds are the edible part.
Me: "Let's go to the store and get a Chinese apple to eat."
Friend: "Don't you mean a 'pomegranate'?"
Me: "Well, we called them Chinese apples when I was little."
Friend: "Don't you mean a 'pomegranate'?"
Me: "Well, we called them Chinese apples when I was little."
by Turkey Trot November 12, 2010
Any spray body deodorant used to cover B.O. like, Axe body spray. Using said product instead of taking a shower.
Hey, guys, you're choking me to death spray that Shower In A Can! Why don't y'all just wash your funky butts?! You're not fooling anybody. You still stink, only now you smell like butt crack and flowers!
by Turkey Trot December 13, 2010
Catholic. You go to church on Saturday night, get your church on. Then Sunday start your new week of debauchery and sinful living. Spoof on The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Michelle to her co-worker: "I'd like to invite you to church this Sunday."
Betty: "Thank You, what church do you go to?"
Michelle: "It's the Church of Latter-Day Saints."
Betty: "Oh, I used to go to the Church of Saturday Saints and Sunday sinners! We had bingo, spaghetti suppers with a beer garden, wine with Communion. You go to church Saturday night, look all churchy, then the next day go back to being you! Come next Saturday, get reset to zero again."
Michelle: "Oh, never mind then..."
Betty: "Thank You, what church do you go to?"
Michelle: "It's the Church of Latter-Day Saints."
Betty: "Oh, I used to go to the Church of Saturday Saints and Sunday sinners! We had bingo, spaghetti suppers with a beer garden, wine with Communion. You go to church Saturday night, look all churchy, then the next day go back to being you! Come next Saturday, get reset to zero again."
Michelle: "Oh, never mind then..."
by Turkey Trot March 15, 2011