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1 definition by Trixabelle

The Average Male Townie:
> Wears fake burberry cap
> Wears fake burberry cap at a 360 degree angle
> Smokes about 50 fags a day
> Drinks anything as long as it has alcohol in it
> Wears "trackies" and bright white nike trainers
> Hates anyone who is not a part of the Townie Race
> Tucks "trackie bottoms" into their white umbro / fake burberry socks
> Refers to fellow female townies as "mah bitches" or "mah hoes"
> Has brown hair with the ends dyed - meant to be blonde but ends up orange
> Wears "Schott" jacket - 100% polyester and very poofy with the label "Schott" splashed along the back of it. Some townies unable to afford such expensive clothing tend to wear "Scott" jackets
> Have their ear pierced with a huge fake diamond earring
> Wears excessive amounts of Lynx aftershave and seems to believe that all normal humans want to smell like that too - tend to spray aftershave in anyone-who-is-not-a-townies face
> Refer to fellow male townies as "bruv"
> Wears many gold chains and rings
> Have a very short vocabulary
> Enjoys listening to hip hop, R 'n' B, and any female who does not wear much clothing at all
> Shoplift from their local market
> Is never seen without their mobile phones - always in the latest model
> Hangs around in large gangs
> Hangs around by places like One Stop and the 'green'

The Average Female Townie:
> Has excessive facial piercings
> Has dyed platinum blond hair with about two inches of natural coloured roots showing
> Hates anyone who is not a part of the Townie Race
> Wears tiny little tops which show as much breast as physically possible
> Wears tiny little skirts which are shorter than a normal persons belt
> Have a very short vocabulary
> Wears clothes by the label "Playboy"
> Always makes sure that their thongs are on show
> Have their hair scraped back into a high ponytail or bun
> Also wear bright white Nike trainers
> Wears many gold chains and rings
> Wears layers and layers of foundation
> Wears layers and layers of fake tan over that
> Are pregnant by the age of 10
> Also wear "Schott" jackets
> Hangs around in large groups
> Hangs around in places like One Stop or the 'green'
> Listens to hip hop, R 'n' B and any male who wears excessive amounts of chains and who possesses a six pack.
> Shoplift from their local market

There are many of this species about - they are spreading like a disease. You must be cautious at all times as you may find yourself gradually adapting to their kind. If you see anyone of this kind approaching, turn around and walk away. DO NOT APPROACH THESE SPECIES.
Here are a few expressions that this dangerous kind might use:

"Sick bruv" - cool or great

"Yer ma'e" - Yes

"I'll give ya beats" - I want to hurt you

"Bling" - jewellery

"Ma homies" - my friends

"Your mum" - Definition UNKNOWN. Many people have tried to define this fascinating expression into English and I have reached the conclusion that in fact, it is just a phrase in which townies resort to using because they cannot think of anything else to say.
by Trixabelle May 03, 2005