An obese woman with freakishly gigantic breasts who looks way older than her actual age. Often you awake one morning, a frighteningly short time after the wedding, to find yourself in bed beside a tittipotamus, instead of the cute but chubby girl you married. Screams at you when upset, hogs all the covers, and snores like a hibernating Grizzly, thus ensuring that you spend many nights on the couch where you lie awake cursing the boob-fetish that got you caught, for the rest of your miserable life, in the loser trap
"Jesus, buddy, WTF? Your squeeze turned into a tittipotamus."
"That poor fuck, Mike. Half his salary goes to keeping his tittipotamus in Twinkies and larger and larger sweatpants."
"That's not the sofa - that's my wife!" "Dude, she a tittipotamus!!!"