Third World Sam's definitions
A continent-sized landmass south of the equator, pretty far from anywhere actual human beings live. It's where Mother Earth expels its excrement as this landfill is located literally on its arse bottom. Filled with kangaroos, koalas, dingoes, poisonous snakes, and nothing much of importance.
Also known as Van Diemen's Land.
INCORRECT SPELLING: Australia
CORRECT SPELLING: Arsetralia
Also known as Van Diemen's Land.
INCORRECT SPELLING: Australia
CORRECT SPELLING: Arsetralia
by Third World Sam April 10, 2022
Get the arsetralia mug.The most popular pastime in Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Georgia, Oklahoma, Tennessee, West Virginia, and other parts of the Hillbilly South. Possibly Utah and Colorado too, but what the Mormons do behind closed doors is kind of unclassified. While you could fuck your cousins pretty much anywhere, even in California or New York, the flyover country has elevated it to an art form.
Crystal is a true born-and-bred Alabama girl. Although she lives in sunny California, she can't wait for Christmas vacations to visit her Deep South male cousins. All of them look forward to their turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, and cranberry sauce, with plenty of moonshine and Banjo music. But the real main event is some deep-throated cousin fucking. Crystal actually hates gangbangs unless it involves all her favorite cousins.
"Thanks for inviting me on this road trip. Where we goin', playa'?"
"Alabama. I got family there."
"Do you have any hot, attractive cousins?"
"Hell yeah. How did you know that one? How about you?"
"You told me once. As a matter of fact, I have fam in Alabama too. All female cousins."
"That sounds terrific. Know what I'm thinking, bruh?"
"Of course, I know it. Let's do it, man."
"Let's do some cousin fucking"
"Just to be clear though. You fuck your cousin, and I do mine. Okay? We stay in our respective lanes."
"No problem, bro. Your cousin belongs to you and is off limits to me."
( fist bumps. Both boys singing "Sweet Home Alabama")
"What does that street sign say?"
"A.I.C.F. 5 miles."
"What does A.I.C.F. mean?"
"Alabama Institute of Cousin Fucking."
"Thanks for inviting me on this road trip. Where we goin', playa'?"
"Alabama. I got family there."
"Do you have any hot, attractive cousins?"
"Hell yeah. How did you know that one? How about you?"
"You told me once. As a matter of fact, I have fam in Alabama too. All female cousins."
"That sounds terrific. Know what I'm thinking, bruh?"
"Of course, I know it. Let's do it, man."
"Let's do some cousin fucking"
"Just to be clear though. You fuck your cousin, and I do mine. Okay? We stay in our respective lanes."
"No problem, bro. Your cousin belongs to you and is off limits to me."
( fist bumps. Both boys singing "Sweet Home Alabama")
"What does that street sign say?"
"A.I.C.F. 5 miles."
"What does A.I.C.F. mean?"
"Alabama Institute of Cousin Fucking."
by Third World Sam December 19, 2024
Get the Cousin fucking mug.An expression used in a fit of anger when you feel exasperated, having no control of a situation or the people around you. Niggers are worthless so cussing them is an easy way to bow off steam. Just say "Kill all Niggers" to let it all out. You don't have to kill anyone. It's a joke. (at the expense of niggers).
"Damn, I'm running late. I'll never make it to this interview on time. Kill all niggers, will you?
"I'm bored. Let's kill all niggers."
"I'm bored. Let's kill all niggers."
by Third World Sam December 7, 2024
Get the kill all niggers mug.A female Islamic terrorist usually covers her entire face with a hijab while carrying a terror manual called Quran with her. She's ready to kill you with a machete, sword or AK-47 as all Muslims are obligated to kill non-Muslims during their Jihad warfare.
An Islamic terrorista is more dangerous than the male Islamic terrorists. Being a woman, she stays under the radar of intel agencies. Ignore this threat at your own peril.
If you're a non-Muslim and value your life (and the lives of your neighbors), you'd report an Islamic terrorista to the authorities from a safe zone.
An Islamic terrorista is more dangerous than the male Islamic terrorists. Being a woman, she stays under the radar of intel agencies. Ignore this threat at your own peril.
If you're a non-Muslim and value your life (and the lives of your neighbors), you'd report an Islamic terrorista to the authorities from a safe zone.
Nabila and Fatima always wear a hijab. I saw their online posts; they often repost articles glorifying the Hamas and other terrorist outfits. They secretly confided to me that they hate Jews, and I find their movements very strange. They disappear from the class every day at two-forty-five. I think both these gals are terroristas. We must keep an eye on their activities. Report anything suspicious.
Me: "What's this headbag you're wearing?"
Muslim girl: "It's called a burqa."
Me: "Burgq durqa. You're making me feel uncomfortable with that attire. Please dress like a normal person, not a terrorista."
Everyone: "Terrorista. Terrorista. Terrorista."
Me: "What's this headbag you're wearing?"
Muslim girl: "It's called a burqa."
Me: "Burgq durqa. You're making me feel uncomfortable with that attire. Please dress like a normal person, not a terrorista."
Everyone: "Terrorista. Terrorista. Terrorista."
by Third World Sam November 6, 2023
Get the Terrorista mug.A unit of time used in Arsetralia and New Zealand, the complete opposite of a New York minute. In terms of normal Northern Hemisphere time units, it's equal to anywhere between 5 to 17 minutes. Approximately the time you need to take a comfortable dump in the toilet.
ORIGIN: The hours, minutes, and seconds move very slowly in Aussie-land and Kiwi-land compared to most of the Northern Hemisphere where actual human beings live. Aussies have nothing else to do than go surfing, drinking all day, and taking a nap in the afternoon (yet they are paid so handsomely well compared to hard-working people in most other countries who struggle for bare necessities). Following the Aussie Rules of time undoubtedly makes them one of the laziest people in the world.
The same unit can be used in the Northern Hemisphere to convey the need for a break or timeout.
You cannot hold an Aussie or New Zealander to the same standards of punctuality as everyone else (they're basically the same country; don't fall for their pretend bullshit that they are different people). Hence, the need for a standard of time that can be used for informal communication with these people (even formal communication).
ORIGIN: The hours, minutes, and seconds move very slowly in Aussie-land and Kiwi-land compared to most of the Northern Hemisphere where actual human beings live. Aussies have nothing else to do than go surfing, drinking all day, and taking a nap in the afternoon (yet they are paid so handsomely well compared to hard-working people in most other countries who struggle for bare necessities). Following the Aussie Rules of time undoubtedly makes them one of the laziest people in the world.
The same unit can be used in the Northern Hemisphere to convey the need for a break or timeout.
You cannot hold an Aussie or New Zealander to the same standards of punctuality as everyone else (they're basically the same country; don't fall for their pretend bullshit that they are different people). Hence, the need for a standard of time that can be used for informal communication with these people (even formal communication).
1. Aussie co-worker: "G'day mate. I'm taking a Sickie (sick leave). Wanna hang out and get wasted?"
You: "Sorry, mate. I have to work hard so I don't get fired. I want to be able to afford my rent so I don't have to go live on the streets again."
Aussie coworker: "Crikey! Just bring over your lappy (laptop) with ya. Tell your boss you're going off to meet clients or something."
You: "Listen, you lazy Aussie Drongo! I don't have an Australian minute to spare right now. So rack off and let me concentrate."
2. Somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere
Friend: "Buddy boy, come out right now. We're gonna go out pick some chicks at the bar."
You: "I'm gonna be right there. Just give me an Australian minute, ok? I'm taking a shower."
Friend: "What the hell is an Australian minute?"
You: "It's a unit of time. You'll soon find out. Just keep watching YouTube videos on your phone."
(35 minutes later)
Friend: "I watched an entire Netflix episode of Bridgerton. Is that an Australian minute?"
You: "No, that would be TWO Australian minutes. I'm so sorry for being an Australian minute late."
3.
You: "Sorry, mate. I have to work hard so I don't get fired. I want to be able to afford my rent so I don't have to go live on the streets again."
Aussie coworker: "Crikey! Just bring over your lappy (laptop) with ya. Tell your boss you're going off to meet clients or something."
You: "Listen, you lazy Aussie Drongo! I don't have an Australian minute to spare right now. So rack off and let me concentrate."
2. Somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere
Friend: "Buddy boy, come out right now. We're gonna go out pick some chicks at the bar."
You: "I'm gonna be right there. Just give me an Australian minute, ok? I'm taking a shower."
Friend: "What the hell is an Australian minute?"
You: "It's a unit of time. You'll soon find out. Just keep watching YouTube videos on your phone."
(35 minutes later)
Friend: "I watched an entire Netflix episode of Bridgerton. Is that an Australian minute?"
You: "No, that would be TWO Australian minutes. I'm so sorry for being an Australian minute late."
3.
by Third World Sam April 22, 2022
Get the australian minute mug.A mediocre, unimaginative person who can't write their way out of a wet paper bag. The medical condition is called Dysgraphia. If you've ever worked at advertising agencies, academic institutions or content marketing teams, you'd know who these people are. Non-writers are easily identified by their linear patterns of thinking, a complete inability to vary syntax, and an endless self-struggle with using the right adjective. They may apply all the cosmetic glow to their substandard, pathetic excuse of a writing but just one glance at those run-on sentences, and you'd know these people are just not meant to write anything important or complex.
By some quirk of fate, talented professional writers end up in the same team as these non-writers. In the eyes of management, they are the same as you, and are qualified to the same rates of pay. When that happens, you have no choice but to suffer their severe incompetence and bruised egos. Despite being embarrassing failures, non-writers are not open to constructive comments and edits.
The invention of AI writing tools has come as a boon to these non-writers. At least now they can hide their dysgraphia. But the lack of freshness in writing remains a permanent question mark on their skills and capabilities.
By some quirk of fate, talented professional writers end up in the same team as these non-writers. In the eyes of management, they are the same as you, and are qualified to the same rates of pay. When that happens, you have no choice but to suffer their severe incompetence and bruised egos. Despite being embarrassing failures, non-writers are not open to constructive comments and edits.
The invention of AI writing tools has come as a boon to these non-writers. At least now they can hide their dysgraphia. But the lack of freshness in writing remains a permanent question mark on their skills and capabilities.
Me: "Who wrote this blog post?"
Management: "Our new hire, Tanveer."
Me: "I'm sorry. Have you seen the adverb overload on this one? This looks like the work of a non-writer. This Tanveer or whatever should look for an alternative occupation. I can't think of a less capable person to be writing our blog posts."
Management: "Perhaps you're right. But you need to find a way to adjust around this non-writer. Why don't you just correct his mistakes, and no-one has to know! That's why we hired you anyway."
Management: "Our new hire, Tanveer."
Me: "I'm sorry. Have you seen the adverb overload on this one? This looks like the work of a non-writer. This Tanveer or whatever should look for an alternative occupation. I can't think of a less capable person to be writing our blog posts."
Management: "Perhaps you're right. But you need to find a way to adjust around this non-writer. Why don't you just correct his mistakes, and no-one has to know! That's why we hired you anyway."
by Third World Sam March 13, 2024
Get the non-writer mug.The only choice you get in some situations, and you just comply with it as you're too cowardly to stand up for your needs. Named after Anthony LaPusso, the entitled, privileged son-brat of Daniel and Amanda LaRusso. He has been raised with plenty of video games around him. His dad, Daniel, wrote him blank checks every time and gave him a Miyagi-do Karate Gi even though he didn't want to "wax on" and "wax off." His mom, Amanda, and sis, Samantha, drive him everywhere. Anthony doesn't really need to take adult responsibilities as his family would always be looking out for him.
That's why, when there's a tough and unpredictable situation, instead of battling it out, Anthony goes for the LaPusso Alternative and just takes whatever is being offered because he's too scared of antagonizing his parents, who might write him off the family inheritance and any trust funds. He's also scared of the school principal and other authority figures.
In a way, the LaPusso Alternative is actually a good choice when you have too much to lose because of owning responsibilities for your actions. After all, when everything is served to you on a platter, only a fool would choose the harder path in life.
That's why, when there's a tough and unpredictable situation, instead of battling it out, Anthony goes for the LaPusso Alternative and just takes whatever is being offered because he's too scared of antagonizing his parents, who might write him off the family inheritance and any trust funds. He's also scared of the school principal and other authority figures.
In a way, the LaPusso Alternative is actually a good choice when you have too much to lose because of owning responsibilities for your actions. After all, when everything is served to you on a platter, only a fool would choose the harder path in life.
Carjacker: "Give me all your money. kid. And the car!"
Victim: "All right, man. Don't kill me please. Listen you can take the car, and you can keep my wallet. But can you just spare me $10 so I can take the bus home."
Carjacker: "Nopes. you don't get anything. Tell you what? You can walk all the way home. Be thankful I spared your life, and you're not going to wake up in a hospital. "
Victim: "OK man. there's always the LaPusso alternative. Keep my car, and my wallet. I will walk all the way home."
Carjacker: "Fuck off, LaPusso."
Victim: "All right, man. Don't kill me please. Listen you can take the car, and you can keep my wallet. But can you just spare me $10 so I can take the bus home."
Carjacker: "Nopes. you don't get anything. Tell you what? You can walk all the way home. Be thankful I spared your life, and you're not going to wake up in a hospital. "
Victim: "OK man. there's always the LaPusso alternative. Keep my car, and my wallet. I will walk all the way home."
Carjacker: "Fuck off, LaPusso."
by Third World Sam December 10, 2024
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