An epidemic worse than small pox, H1N1, The Black Plauge, and Charlie Sheen. Symptons: checking Facebook like twice an hour or more, wanting to suddenly and generally at the most random moments, get on Facebook to see if Kyle XY excepted your friend request, getting awful urges in your sleep to play FarmVille and tend to your virtual Cactus on CactusWorld.
Treatments: watch the Facebook song by some British dude, realize it's true, delete your Facebook, check into a nunnery where thet don't have the internet.
I hope this helps. And please remember that you are not alone. Rehab isn't just for alcoholics, druggies, and sex addicts, it's also for Facebook Fever.
Disclamer: If this offended anyone due to it's truth,please just ignore it and get on with your life. Charlie Sheen is great and it sounded funny up there if that offends anyone. Rehab and Nuns are good things and I do not personally hate either, again it was just because it sounded funny and fit. Thanks for reading!
Girl:Oh My Gosh! It's been nearly 3 seconds and no one has messaged, poked, or thrown a sheep at me! I'm so unpopular now!
Person with Girl: Dear Lord. Girl, JUST SHUT UP YOU NEED HELP YOU'RE INFECTED WITH FACEBOOK FEVER!
Boy: Oooh, the fake Ashley Tisdale, and slightly trashy and 100% fake Vannesa Hudgins friended me!
Boy's Mom:Hun, we can get play dates or whatever you 40 year olds do on Saturday nights. You don't need this Facebook crap anymore.
Doctor: Ma'am, she is infected. With. Facebook. Fever.
Mom:*in tears* What do I do?
Doctor:Delete the account, make her go to therapy, and grab the Robatusin. It fixes everything. EVERYTHING!