A rare parasite only located in the secluded areas of the anus, usually infects the said area and is known to manifest there for a number of years, waiting for the opportunity to spread. Common symptoms include: blocking of the nose (victim will experience a severe speech impediment), an intolerance to bacon sandwiches, the victim will become drained of personality and charisma, the victim will find their speech garbled into worthless garbage, their words will no longer mean anything. Treat immediately with a dose of reality
Person 1: "Hyuuh dyuuh, sshtyuuh blyuuh."
Person 2: "What the hell is wrong with your voice?"
Person 1: "Sshtyuuh hyuuh... back the next generation with a job guarantee... blyuuh dyuuh."
Person 2: "Oh god, it looks like you have a severe case of Ed Miliband
, we need to get you to a doctor immediately!"