13 definitions by TheFunnyGuy88

A sex offender with adult victims, i.e. a rapist. The term "NONCE" doesn't necessarily mean child victims. It originated from Wakefield Prison in the UK and stood for "Not on Normal Courtyard Exercise." If a prisoner had committed horrific crimes such as child murder, rape or pedophilia they would get a "NONCE" sign on the door of their cell. This meant that the prison guards would not open their cell doors at the same time as the other prisons because they were very likely to get beaten up by the other inmates. It doesn't necessarily mean pedophiles.

An adult nonce is essentially a sex offender who has victims that are adults. For example a serial rapist or woman murderer but the victims are adults.
Wayne Couzens, the policeman who abused his position to rape and kill Sarah Everard is an adult nonce.
by TheFunnyGuy88 September 11, 2022
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Filling a hot girls mouth with Irn Bru, making her go onto her knees with her mouth open whilst you dip your balls in the mouthful of Irn Bru. Essentially the same as a Mississippi birdbath but with Irn Bru instead of Kool-Aid.
Reight theen, beebs. Wud ya layke a wee Scotland Birdbath? Yes, ay knew ett!
by TheFunnyGuy88 July 23, 2022
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Where mathematicians go when they commit crime.
Did you hear about the mathematician that got convicted of robbery? He went straight to a square based prison.
by TheFunnyGuy88 July 24, 2022
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Disgusting pervert who got away with some of the most revolting crimes for so many years. Why? He was a London Metropolitan police officer who carried a gun around protecting important UK Goverment buildings. It was this role that he used to hide his true colours. He worked in the same department of his police force as his sick colleague Wayne Couzens. He was referred to by his work colleagues as "Bastard Dave." All his victims thought they'd never be believed thanks to his policing role.

The crimes he committed were 80 sexual offences including at least 48 counts of rape against 12 women between 2003 and 2020 (17 years). Some of these offences were multiple incident offences and so less overall charges. The filthy bastard would force his victims to drink his piss and sometimes directly into their mouths, lock them in tiny cupboards for hours to use as slaves and make them clean his house naked. He would repeatedly rape them. In some cases he would dictate when they ate and slept. He threatened to kill them if they didn't comply. What a nasty fucking piece of work. Thankfully he admitted to the charges and a conviction was secured and he has gained national and some international attention so one can name and shame this freak as much as they like. He will likely spend the rest of his days behind bars. Filthy fucking pig.
David Carrick is a sick pervert! Hope he get's a taste of his own medicine in prison!
by TheFunnyGuy88 January 17, 2023
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You at the end of the day when the gig has finished and all the pretty girls have gone home with their handsome boyfriends to have it off and you're in a cheap Travelodge hotel room all lonely and trying to imagine yourself with those girls by having it off with yourself (masturbating). Sadly, it rarely helps the situation and you end up more depressed than before.
The gig has ended and all the pretty girls have gone home with their boyfriends and I'm here having a lonely wank in a Travelodge. So depressing.
by TheFunnyGuy88 June 30, 2022
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What you use when you want to watch porn on hotel WIFI and do not have access to mobile data.
You've used a VPN for this purpose and you know it!
by TheFunnyGuy88 July 19, 2023
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In US English it would be institutionalized bullying. It is what Will McKenzie had to go through on The Inbetweeners when he did his work experience at a garage instead of at a local newspaper. The guys at the garage would humiliate and degrade Will and eventually order him out for a pint. After they had the pint and left the pub they crept up behind him, pulled his trousers and shirt down so you could only see his underpants and placed him in the boot of their car. They then drove him to a pond and threw him into the water practically naked. Now thats some institutionalised bullying for you.
Will (as character): Please my allergies!!!
*SPLASH*
Garage worker: Bet you wasn't expectin' that was ye mastermind. See you t'morra.
Will (as naratar): Institutionalised bullying wasn't quite the work experience I had in mind. But I knew how to deal with bullies, I got my mum to tell the teacher.
Principal: HAHAHAHAHA
by TheFunnyGuy88 May 7, 2023
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