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24 definitions by The Grottomaster

 
1.
A sandwich prepared by a wife for her blue-collared husband's lunch. Such sandwiches are indicative of the husband's libido, either ravenous or lacking: Thick meat on a sandwich indicates a happy wife, whereas a thin slice of bologna with no condiments stands testament to a man who has been ignoring his carnal obligations.
Bob's wife gave him a skimpy Work Sandwich -- they won't be married for much longer.
by The Grottomaster April 26, 2011
 
2.
A reflection upon happier times, prior to the days of one's inability to have sex.
I was happily daydreaming about my youth, engaging in Fucking Retrospect.
by The Grottomaster May 23, 2011
 
3.
A person, usually a young one and frequently of the X-generation, who lives life at the minimum and is desirious of only enough cash to squeak by, working only to the degree necessary to acheive that dubious objective. Slackers are generally viewed as lazy and unambitious parasites on society in general, especially by older generations, including former hippies who were notably more noxious in their own youth. In the 1950s and before, the people who would nowadays be commonly characterized by the term slacker would have then been the individuals who necessitated innumerable red-lettered signs which pronounced No Loafing, signs which were prominently posted nationwide at nearly every gas station of the era and which were ignored on an equal magnitude by the people whom they specifically targeted.
Zachary is a slacker of the First Water... he's a part-timer at McDonald's, listens endlessly to classic Bob Dylan tunes, and lives with anyone who has yet to run him off.
by The Grottomaster August 31, 2010
 
4.
The aggregation of people planet-wide, (but chiefly in America), who contribute absolutely nothing beneficial to society and who pass through life virtually unnoticed, except when they offend. These people typically jump from one low-paying job to another, (if they have a job), never serve in the military, manifest mediocrity of geological magnitude, have no hobbies, and every one of them owns an elaborate cell phone which is perpetually activated while conversing about some non-topic to another member of this dubious group. Generally speaking, such folks are parasites on society, taking advantage of every government giveaway program in existence.

Key locations to observe such people include McDonald's, Wal-Mart, laundromats, and hospital emergency rooms. They almost always travel in packs, (family and peer units), and at least two to three cell phones will be evident when they are present.
It's the first of the month and we'll have to elbow our way through the societal debris to do any shopping at Wal-Mart.
by The Grottomaster June 02, 2011
 
5.
A priest who has molested at least 100 boys.
He's almost achieved his ranking as an Archpedophile -- he only has four boys to go.
by The Grottomaster March 27, 2011
 
6.
The remnants of the Republican Party, left in tatters, subsequent to the so-called Tea Party Movement manifestation. The Left Behind Republican Party is constituted of the leftovers, the politicians who were simply too single-minded and too corrupt to change over. As a result, there are now TWO Republican Parties. The Left Behind facet is a double entendre allusion to the popular book and film series, Left Behind, which focuses on the Christian Fundamentalist doctrine of "The Rapture".
The Left Behind Republican Party will certainly not earn Mitt Romney's endorsement since he believes in Women's Rights, or at least says that he does.
by The Grottomaster September 12, 2012
 
7.
The secret process sought by all boys of puberty age after they discover that their eyes are going to cross, that they have given themselves venereal disease, and all the other various horror myths which adult men tell them about masturbation.
Buddy has been asking all his uncles on the sly how to unmasturbate because his crotch has suddenly begun to itch and he thinks he's given himself the clap.
by The Grottomaster June 27, 2011