The Gonzo Lecture's definitions

Rail Rage

Derived originally from "Road Rage" but results in one commuter pushing another commuter onto the rail tracks.

The man was jailed for four years for rail rage when he pushed a woman onto the railway tracks because she asked him not to smoke on the platform.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 6, 2010

par down

Managementspeak for "no you can't have one".

Employee: can I have another cupboard to store things in my office?

Manager: we are presently seeking to "par down" the amount of storage in this particular area.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 11, 2010

masturprank

A term first coined by Dr Gregory House in season 6 episode 13 to denote the feigning of a practical joke on oneself to avert suspicion from other people about one's guilt as a prankster.

Wilson:You created empirical proof that I didn't prank you selling me on the notion that you didn't prank. Maybe you self-pranked.

House: I don't masturprank

by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010

needle choir

A pleasant crescendo caused by the multiple sounds of tattoo artists' needles in a tattoo studio.

Jase the Inker: Isn't that a pleasant sound to the ears of the needle choir?

Customer: Ah fuck, watch what you're doing, that really hurts you fucker!

by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010

Blingford

A slang name used to generically describe the suburbs to the east of London, including Essex. The suffix "-ford" denotes that such towns tend to be situated on a river, often the Thames. Such suburbs including Ilford, Stratford, Romford, etc. can therefore be referred to generally without causing direct offense to their residents. The prefix "Bling" refers to the tendency of some of these residents to wear flashy, or gaudy jewellery, possibly implying that they are chavs.

Example 1:

Sociologist: As we can see from this picture, these two people are chavs, sitting in a McDonald's restaurant in Blingford. They are denoted by their tracksuits, gaudy jewellery and next tattoos.

Example 2:

"That's coz you's a tasteless, chavvy, Blingford mutherfucker, innit! Aight?"

by The Gonzo Lecture March 7, 2010

Work

The deceitful act of making oneself appear busy during office hours in return for payment.

I'd love to help with that important task, but I've got some other work I need to do.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010

Cum Catcher

A slang term for a woman. Considered by many (mostly women) to be a derogatory term used by people (usually men) to suggest a particular woman enjoys the practice of having men ejaculating semen into and onto various parts of her body.

"She's a real fucking cum catcher..."

"Here it comes, you fucking cum catcher!"

by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010