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The Gonzo Lecture's definitions

foetus jacking

A practice developed on the London railway system by women to gain preferntial seating during rush hour periods. It involves confronting male passengers and asking them for their seat on the grounds that they are pregnant.
Female passenger: "can I please have your seat. I'm pregnant." (Whole carriage stares at man)

Male pssenger: "stop with yer foetus jacking, miss. I'm gonna need to see a copy of the ultrasound photo"
by The Gonzo Lecture March 9, 2010
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throw under the bus

To actually throw somebody under a moving bus.
Example 1
I was feeling really upset with my colleague, so I threw her under a bus. This was my fulfilment of a lifetime urge to actually practice the phenomenon to "throw under the bus".

Example 2
The driver confronted me and asked "what the fuck did you throw her under my bus for?"
by The Gonzo Lecture March 10, 2010
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Intolerance

A justifiable reaction to all the assholes out there.
"My God Bill, all those assholes out there just fill me with unbearable yet justified intolerance."
by The Gonzo Lecture March 10, 2010
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par down

Managementspeak for "no you can't have one".
Employee: can I have another cupboard to store things in my office?

Manager: we are presently seeking to "par down" the amount of storage in this particular area.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 11, 2010
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masturprank

A term first coined by Dr Gregory House in season 6 episode 13 to denote the feigning of a practical joke on oneself to avert suspicion from other people about one's guilt as a prankster.
Wilson:You created empirical proof that I didn't prank you selling me on the notion that you didn't prank. Maybe you self-pranked.

House: I don't masturprank
by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
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external examiner

Someone appointed from another institution by a university to question every little, trivial detail of an assessment or graded paper in order to justify their own hefty stipend, make lecturers' lives annoyingly miserable (thus reminding them they are still only employees) and to feign the appearance of academic quality.
Elvira: Leo the external examiner has returned your examination for review because some of the questions require commas to be added. Make sure you do this before you leave the office at 2.30pm today.

Chuck: If all Leo has to do for his money is correct my grammar, then I'd be grateful if you'd ask him to stick that examination paper up his fat arse.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
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Wednesday

A teaching day in the middle of the week designed by universities to ruin both weekends for academics.
Academic wife: Hey honey, come watch "Homes Under the Hammer" with me!"

University Academic: I can't babe, you'll have to Sky+ it. I gotta go to the campus, it's Wednesday
by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
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