The Gonzo Lecture's definitions
A grandiose windbag who bullshits for a fee. They can't do anything useful, so they enter teaching, but they find out they can't teach very well so they try to teach teachers, but the teacher they teach think they are tossers, so they become academic consultants.
Chas: Who the fuck is that grandiose tosser at the front of the room who keeps bullshitting?
Nick: He's what's called an Academic Consultant. Tosser.
Nick: He's what's called an Academic Consultant. Tosser.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
Get the Academic Consultantmug. A term first coined by Dr Gregory House in season 6 episode 13 to denote the feigning of a practical joke on oneself to avert suspicion from other people about one's guilt as a prankster.
Wilson:You created empirical proof that I didn't prank you selling me on the notion that you didn't prank. Maybe you self-pranked.
House: I don't masturprank
House: I don't masturprank
by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
Get the masturprankmug. Jase the Inker: Isn't that a pleasant sound to the ears of the needle choir?
Customer: Ah fuck, watch what you're doing, that really hurts you fucker!
Customer: Ah fuck, watch what you're doing, that really hurts you fucker!
by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010
Get the needle choirmug. A slang name used to generically describe the suburbs to the east of London, including Essex. The suffix "-ford" denotes that such towns tend to be situated on a river, often the Thames. Such suburbs including Ilford, Stratford, Romford, etc. can therefore be referred to generally without causing direct offense to their residents. The prefix "Bling" refers to the tendency of some of these residents to wear flashy, or gaudy jewellery, possibly implying that they are chavs.
Example 1:
Sociologist: As we can see from this picture, these two people are chavs, sitting in a McDonald's restaurant in Blingford. They are denoted by their tracksuits, gaudy jewellery and next tattoos.
Example 2:
"That's coz you's a tasteless, chavvy, Blingford mutherfucker, innit! Aight?"
Sociologist: As we can see from this picture, these two people are chavs, sitting in a McDonald's restaurant in Blingford. They are denoted by their tracksuits, gaudy jewellery and next tattoos.
Example 2:
"That's coz you's a tasteless, chavvy, Blingford mutherfucker, innit! Aight?"
by The Gonzo Lecture March 7, 2010
Get the Blingfordmug. A learning strategy devised by academics to divert attention from themselves and their own activities, cut down on teaching time and cause the maximum amount of stress and discomfort to their students. Groupwork involves the administration of complex, indecipherable assessment tasks which students are left to spend long hours together in each others' company to figure out leading often to short periods of abusive conflict and sometimes even longer periods of fornication and even marriage.
Jemima: Professor, can you please answer me a question about our assignment?
Professor: No I can't. You see, it's groupwork. You have to figure it out together with your team mates. Why not go and ask Brad to help you. He looks like he'd be happy to straighten you out. I have to go now and see if that infernal coffee bar is open yet.
Professor: No I can't. You see, it's groupwork. You have to figure it out together with your team mates. Why not go and ask Brad to help you. He looks like he'd be happy to straighten you out. I have to go now and see if that infernal coffee bar is open yet.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
Get the groupworkmug. A process carried out by university administrators in the Autumn term which involves shedding students who don't turn up regularly to classes to ensure they aren't charged fees and become an unnecessary financial burden to the institution. This is performed by the student being summarily "deregistered" on the grounds that they are "inadequately engaged" on their programme of study. As a result, students find they are suddenly unable to submit coursework or access any university facilities whatsoever, thus providing proof that they are indeed no longer engaged.
Chris the student: Hey professor! Why can't I submit coursework or access any online library facilities in order to complete my term papers?
Professor: You've probably become an unwitting victim of the most recent "Autumn Courtesy Flush."
Chris: What's that?
Professor: You've been deregistered because you haven't been coming to class.
Chris: My God! But if I can't submit assignments I'll fail the year.
Professor: Yes, well you should have thought of that, shouldn't you? Anyway, good luck with your career.
Professor: You've probably become an unwitting victim of the most recent "Autumn Courtesy Flush."
Chris: What's that?
Professor: You've been deregistered because you haven't been coming to class.
Chris: My God! But if I can't submit assignments I'll fail the year.
Professor: Yes, well you should have thought of that, shouldn't you? Anyway, good luck with your career.
by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010
Get the Autumn Courtesy Flushmug. A slang term for a woman. Considered by many (mostly women) to be a derogatory term used by people (usually men) to suggest a particular woman enjoys the practice of having men ejaculating semen into and onto various parts of her body.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010
Get the Cum Catchermug.