groupwork

A learning strategy devised by academics to divert attention from themselves and their own activities, cut down on teaching time and cause the maximum amount of stress and discomfort to their students. Groupwork involves the administration of complex, indecipherable assessment tasks which students are left to spend long hours together in each others' company to figure out leading often to short periods of abusive conflict and sometimes even longer periods of fornication and even marriage.
Jemima: Professor, can you please answer me a question about our assignment?

Professor: No I can't. You see, it's groupwork. You have to figure it out together with your team mates. Why not go and ask Brad to help you. He looks like he'd be happy to straighten you out. I have to go now and see if that infernal coffee bar is open yet.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
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Swamp Fart

A release of gas from the anal cavity renowned for its particular moistness and pungent odour. Unlike a normal fart, and other categories of cruel fart, the swamp fart is distinct in a number of important respects. It is formed by poorly-digested vegetable or fruit matter incubating in the colon for an extended time period. This results in an uncomfortable build-up of methane gas, which when combined with semi-liquid foodstuffs, produces a wet fart sound when omitted. This is often confused with a pudding fart due to its bass timbre. However, a swamp fart is so foul smelling that it causes an immediate gagging response from those nearby. Commonly, those responsible for swamp farts quickly vacate the environments contaminated by their own farticles both to avoid blame and to check their undergarments for undesirable debris, often referred to as fart sauce.
Kimi and Chaz are sitting in their local pizza restaurant.

Kimi: Was that you Chaz? God that stinks!

Chaz: (Sniggers) Sorry love, I just produced an impromptu swamp fart. Better out than though, I can tell you!

Kimi: You're disgusting Chaz! Shall we order now?

Chaz: No...I have to go to the bathroom. I think I might have fart sauce in my shorts...
by The Gonzo Lecture March 03, 2010
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foetus jacking

A practice developed on the London railway system by women to gain preferntial seating during rush hour periods. It involves confronting male passengers and asking them for their seat on the grounds that they are pregnant.
Female passenger: "can I please have your seat. I'm pregnant." (Whole carriage stares at man)

Male pssenger: "stop with yer foetus jacking, miss. I'm gonna need to see a copy of the ultrasound photo"
by The Gonzo Lecture March 09, 2010
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throw under the bus

To actually throw somebody under a moving bus.
Example 1
I was feeling really upset with my colleague, so I threw her under a bus. This was my fulfilment of a lifetime urge to actually practice the phenomenon to "throw under the bus".

Example 2
The driver confronted me and asked "what the fuck did you throw her under my bus for?"
by The Gonzo Lecture March 10, 2010
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Intolerance

A justifiable reaction to all the assholes out there.
"My God Bill, all those assholes out there just fill me with unbearable yet justified intolerance."
by The Gonzo Lecture March 10, 2010
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Jon Stewart

Widely considered by many to be the most important Jew on the earth.
The indisputable importance of Jon Stewart was confirmed by the Family Guy character, Mort Goldman who exclaimed “Protect Jon Stewart! He's our most important Jew!”
by The Gonzo Lecture March 03, 2010
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Rail Rage

Derived originally from "Road Rage" but results in one commuter pushing another commuter onto the rail tracks.
The man was jailed for four years for rail rage when he pushed a woman onto the railway tracks because she asked him not to smoke on the platform.
by The Gonzo Lecture March 06, 2010
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