The Gonzo Lecture's definitions

needle choir

A pleasant crescendo caused by the multiple sounds of tattoo artists' needles in a tattoo studio.

Jase the Inker: Isn't that a pleasant sound to the ears of the needle choir?

Customer: Ah fuck, watch what you're doing, that really hurts you fucker!

by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010

throw under the bus

To actually throw somebody under a moving bus.

Example 1
I was feeling really upset with my colleague, so I threw her under a bus. This was my fulfilment of a lifetime urge to actually practice the phenomenon to "throw under the bus".

Example 2
The driver confronted me and asked "what the fuck did you throw her under my bus for?"

by The Gonzo Lecture March 10, 2010

foetus jacking

A practice developed on the London railway system by women to gain preferntial seating during rush hour periods. It involves confronting male passengers and asking them for their seat on the grounds that they are pregnant.

Female passenger: "can I please have your seat. I'm pregnant." (Whole carriage stares at man)

Male pssenger: "stop with yer foetus jacking, miss. I'm gonna need to see a copy of the ultrasound photo"

by The Gonzo Lecture March 9, 2010

Rail Rage

Derived originally from "Road Rage" but results in one commuter pushing another commuter onto the rail tracks.

The man was jailed for four years for rail rage when he pushed a woman onto the railway tracks because she asked him not to smoke on the platform.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 6, 2010

Intolerance

A justifiable reaction to all the assholes out there.

"My God Bill, all those assholes out there just fill me with unbearable yet justified intolerance."

by The Gonzo Lecture March 10, 2010

Jon Stewart

Widely considered by many to be the most important Jew on the earth.

The indisputable importance of Jon Stewart was confirmed by the Family Guy character, Mort Goldman who exclaimed “Protect Jon Stewart! He's our most important Jew!”

by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010

Work

The deceitful act of making oneself appear busy during office hours in return for payment.

I'd love to help with that important task, but I've got some other work I need to do.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010